Unraveling.

"If you want to destroy my sweater...
Woah-ah-woah-ah-woah.
Hold this thread as I walk away...
As I walk away."

Two-thousand and eight was a year of serious ups and downs. I've breifly discussed it. Pretty much my personal, athletic and professional lives were flipped turned upside down many times over. Like a washing machine. You could sit on the floor by the front-loader and watch it go thru the spin cycle.

I am so tired of the begging, the pleading with my mom to get help. I am so tired of people and animals dying. I am completely over the petty arguments and pointless bickering. I have escaped from the horrors that I called my co-workers at South & Assoc. I am sick of the economy. I am through with the things that one by one unraveled my heart strings. Thankfully, I'm very lucky to have an awesome husband and a handful of really wonderful friends.

I entered 2009 on a very sour note. A fairly blah New Year's Eve, a dog that crapped on my favorite rug (Which I stepped in with both bare feet. It was warm. And liquid like), an argument with my hubby with him a thousand miles away. While not everything is totally resolved yet (except for the rug. No amount of Resolve would fix that- it found the way to the trash), I'm trying to make a resolution of 2009:

Let it go.

Let everything go. Let everyone go. The things and people that hurt me in 2008 aren't going to affect my life anymore. I am going to just count to ten, and breathe out everytime something gets me flustered. I will walk away from the heart ache and resentment that I've carried for so long. I am done with it. I am airing it out.

The people can keep doing what they do. I don't care anymore. It's not my life to live, and if they want to destroy themselves, fine. Go for. It won't hurt me anymore. For the loved ones I've recently lost including my grandpa and my friend, I hope you have found peace. I'm letting you have it. For the critters that passed, may all dogs (and bunnies) go to heaven.

This is me, unraveling to my core.