Decade in Review

I'm a member of an online women's forum- kind of like the Knot, but way cooler- and the decade in review came up. I thought I'd add mine here.

2000- Finished my Freshman year in High School! Dyed my hair purple for the first time. Became a cheerleader (omg, seriously!?). Buried a close friend from suicide. Had a crazy summer cheeering and traveling my little brother around from state to state for moto racing. Turned 15. Met my future husband!

2001- Won conference in Humorous Interpretation for Forensics in school, somebody found my storytelling funny. Stopped cheerleading, it never would have worked out, anyway. What I would consider my Swan Song year in swimming- did fantastic at state, and had two relays win gold at nationals (NSG's). Watched future husband and brother race motorcycles.

2002- Swam, but not well. Got distracted by a boy (oh that scoundrel). Started taking college credit courses while still in HS. Husband graduated HS. Became a car hop at Sonic. I wore roller skates and black booty shorts. Seriously, easiest job ever. Look cute, don't fall, smile. Made bank. Started Senior year.

2003- Kept working. Went to school only in early AM's for college credit. First time purchasing a vehicle. My dad thought I was crazy buying a new car when they got me a perfectly good one the year before. Future husband bought a boat. Started wake boarding, well struggled at it. Graduated HS. Started college full time.

2004- Paid off said new car. Between sonic and the bar, I made money. Not kidding! Started getting kind of good at wake boarding, began competing. The boat thing caught on. Started working at future husbands boat dealership. Decided I missed swimming. Went back to club swimming at age of 19. Had to start all over.

2005- Finally requalified for swimming nationals. Tore labrum in right shoulder. Cried a lot. Retired again at age 19. Started getting really good at wake boarding. Earned world ranking of 45 in women's open cable wake boarding. Began looking at homes with future husband.

2006- Bought home with future husband. Started big girl job at hell hole law firm. Graduated college. Thought about attempting triathlon. Purchased bicycle. Did first triathlon. Met some new best friends for life. Did a few more triathlons. Turned 21. Did a half ironman triathlon. Won my age group. Qualified for Triathlon Long Course World Championships. Signed up for Ironman.

2007- Devoted life to training for first Ironman. Busted my ass. Began to worry weather I would ever get married to future husband. Had terriffic year in triathlon. Hated my job. Got engaged- on the beach, at Ironman. Completed Ironman.

2008- Began planning wedding. On cloud nine. Got fired (or, as they so nicely put it, "position is being terminated, and you will be eligible for state unemployment") 7 weeks before wedding. Best thing that EVER happened to me. Got married to WONDERFUL at dream Halloween Wedding, 8 years to the day of our first date. Went on AWESOME honeymoon to Mexico. Came back to job offers waiting for me. Started at new job.

2009- Excelled at new job. Did first stand alone marathon. Got pregnant.

2010- Finally got new car. Had the mustang the whole time. Planning on baby date of July 24. Turn 25 in August. Probably going back to school part time. Maybe new house? Going to have a great life. On to the next decade!

Unraveling.

"If you want to destroy my sweater...
Woah-ah-woah-ah-woah.
Hold this thread as I walk away...
As I walk away."

Two-thousand and eight was a year of serious ups and downs. I've breifly discussed it. Pretty much my personal, athletic and professional lives were flipped turned upside down many times over. Like a washing machine. You could sit on the floor by the front-loader and watch it go thru the spin cycle.

I am so tired of the begging, the pleading with my mom to get help. I am so tired of people and animals dying. I am completely over the petty arguments and pointless bickering. I have escaped from the horrors that I called my co-workers at South & Assoc. I am sick of the economy. I am through with the things that one by one unraveled my heart strings. Thankfully, I'm very lucky to have an awesome husband and a handful of really wonderful friends.

I entered 2009 on a very sour note. A fairly blah New Year's Eve, a dog that crapped on my favorite rug (Which I stepped in with both bare feet. It was warm. And liquid like), an argument with my hubby with him a thousand miles away. While not everything is totally resolved yet (except for the rug. No amount of Resolve would fix that- it found the way to the trash), I'm trying to make a resolution of 2009:

Let it go.

Let everything go. Let everyone go. The things and people that hurt me in 2008 aren't going to affect my life anymore. I am going to just count to ten, and breathe out everytime something gets me flustered. I will walk away from the heart ache and resentment that I've carried for so long. I am done with it. I am airing it out.

The people can keep doing what they do. I don't care anymore. It's not my life to live, and if they want to destroy themselves, fine. Go for. It won't hurt me anymore. For the loved ones I've recently lost including my grandpa and my friend, I hope you have found peace. I'm letting you have it. For the critters that passed, may all dogs (and bunnies) go to heaven.

This is me, unraveling to my core.