I'm dragging this one over from Figure'n It Out because it's too good not to share.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010 Is That Sound Medical Advice?
I've been killing it with my workouts, and for the last week, have stuck very closely to Coach Lady's meal plans... but then I have this happen.
Le Bebe has been acting strange the last couple days, and I had grown concerned. I called the peditritrician, and was directed to one of the nurses. "I don't think I'm producing as much milk as normal, and I know my baby is trying to eat more," I tell the nurse. "Have you started an exercise routine or changed your diet in anyway?" Duh. "Yes, I'm still eating quite a few calories, but it's cleaner food, not any junk, and I have started working out at the same intensity as I was pregant, and before, just different activities." "I see," she begins, "you know, it takes nine months to put on the weight, so give yourself nine months to take it off."
Bitch, please.
Aside from those nagging couple L-B's, I had that 39lbs' ass whopped in a month. Didn't seem to hurt my milk production then!
"Yes, I know. I lost the weight in a few weeks. I'm actually starting to prepare for a fitness competition." (I say fitness, very few people know what fitness/ figure are, let alone there's a difference.) Ooooh. Oh? Oh. Oh! WTF does OH mean? "Well, that's going to be very hard to continue breastfeeding then." I didn't go into when contest prep starts, and that he'll be close to 6 months, my goal for BF'ing, but REALLY? Then she tells me, and this is verbatim:
"Go to McDonald's and get yourself a quarter pounder and a shake."
... chirp ... chirp...
"I'm serious."
So, nurse's diagnosis; I'm not getting enough fat in my diet. But really, McD's? Is that sound medical advise?
I skipped on the shake, sounds like a good cheat for tomorrow! Instead I opted for FOUR ounces of colby jack cheese and a jumbo dog tonight. Sounds fatty to me, yes?
Showing posts with label What Now?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What Now?. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
What Now?
Since the Squid is swinging peacefully away, I have two hands and am not covered in spit up, how about a little catching up? We're getting settled in comfortably with a routine, well some semblance of one. Although we do have one thing that's a new addition aside from the Squid, of course. A "for sale" sign. As in: Buy our home. Yeah, I know, good joke, eh? But, we're giving it a try. We've been browsing houses since this early spring. We should have tried to really sell then, but we didn't. Mostly my fault. So we're sitting in our fabulous home, but we have our eyes on two floor plans that will function a little better for our expanded family. If you want to buy a house, look in south Blue Springs, Mo.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. I packed up the Squid, put on the Garmin and went for a jog. Well, I didn't wear the right bra ("sport" Nursing bras are not even close to being sporty) so there was way more walking then I wanted to do. He still doesn't fit in the jogging stroller, so we're making the regular one work for now for our jogs. I didn't bother with the HRM strap, but believe me, the data was more for shits and grins than for recording.
I still have some "issues" so swimming is out for a bit, and cycling will still be uncomfortable for a while. Instead, I'm doing a little research. I'm looking forward to my next athletic challenge of Figure competitions. I'm trying to decide if Bikini might be the better class for me since it requires competitors to be a little softer, but if I am close, I'll sign up for Figure and add Bikini as a crossover class if it's allowed at the particular show I choose. Right now I'm looking through about three local shows between April and June of 2011.
It's a bit intimidating looking at the girls in competitions, but as I dig a little deeper, I am seeing posing practices of women months out from competition looking like, well... NORMAL woman. Definitely firm and fit, but it's nice to know that I'm not as far off base as I am feeling. Also, I've seen so much of the Pro women at comps like the Arnold Classic and Olympia that I thought these goals were really unrealistic. Then I realised I have to start somewhere and found these local ladies looking Uh-Maze-Ing (and attainable) practicing for a show, ya know, pre-spray tan and such:
PS
Number 6 (the Blonde second from right) is local Irongirl Gretchen Duncan!
This is pretty much where we're at right now. I'm enjoying the last month until I have to go back to work. I'm completely dreading it: I do NOT want Squid going to day care. We found a nice place and I'm sure it will be fine, but that's doesn't make me look forward to it.
I've got a LONG way to go to even get ready to get ready for Figure, but I'll get there (Stopping with the amount of ice cream I've enjoyed recently!)
Here we are, off on our journey. Momhood. Figure competitor!
Psst
I'm still doing triathlons, but it will just be sprints or olympics next year!
Yesterday was a beautiful day. I packed up the Squid, put on the Garmin and went for a jog. Well, I didn't wear the right bra ("sport" Nursing bras are not even close to being sporty) so there was way more walking then I wanted to do. He still doesn't fit in the jogging stroller, so we're making the regular one work for now for our jogs. I didn't bother with the HRM strap, but believe me, the data was more for shits and grins than for recording.
I still have some "issues" so swimming is out for a bit, and cycling will still be uncomfortable for a while. Instead, I'm doing a little research. I'm looking forward to my next athletic challenge of Figure competitions. I'm trying to decide if Bikini might be the better class for me since it requires competitors to be a little softer, but if I am close, I'll sign up for Figure and add Bikini as a crossover class if it's allowed at the particular show I choose. Right now I'm looking through about three local shows between April and June of 2011.
It's a bit intimidating looking at the girls in competitions, but as I dig a little deeper, I am seeing posing practices of women months out from competition looking like, well... NORMAL woman. Definitely firm and fit, but it's nice to know that I'm not as far off base as I am feeling. Also, I've seen so much of the Pro women at comps like the Arnold Classic and Olympia that I thought these goals were really unrealistic. Then I realised I have to start somewhere and found these local ladies looking Uh-Maze-Ing (and attainable) practicing for a show, ya know, pre-spray tan and such:
PS
Number 6 (the Blonde second from right) is local Irongirl Gretchen Duncan!
This is pretty much where we're at right now. I'm enjoying the last month until I have to go back to work. I'm completely dreading it: I do NOT want Squid going to day care. We found a nice place and I'm sure it will be fine, but that's doesn't make me look forward to it.
I've got a LONG way to go to even get ready to get ready for Figure, but I'll get there (Stopping with the amount of ice cream I've enjoyed recently!)
Here we are, off on our journey. Momhood. Figure competitor!
Psst
I'm still doing triathlons, but it will just be sprints or olympics next year!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hi. An Update.
Colic.
Colic effing sucks.
House for sale.
Someone come buy it.
Exhausted.
Need more sleep.
Couldn't be happier.
Colic effing sucks.
House for sale.
Someone come buy it.
Exhausted.
Need more sleep.
Couldn't be happier.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Eviction Papers
 |
| Waiting for the dr at the 39 week appointment. |
 |
| Yes, I really am this amazing looking. |
 |
| Eric, waiting oh so paitiently. |
 |
| 37 weeks |
Well, here we are. Week 40. The end-all be all of pregnancy. Unless you go long. We're going long. Luckily, we're only going a few days.
Today, Dr Lady informed us we're still measuring big, as in currently at 42weeks (I say we- that's me, Lil Squid Dude, and Husband Dearest), and that, despite all of our best efforts to dialte and efface, we got nothin'. Dilation maybe at 2cm., and effacement is the Berlin wall. Effing A. Even that thing got taken down.
Then, she asked the magic words:
How do you feel about induction?
I didn't really have an answer. I desperately want a thru-the-hoo-ha delivery, and prefer to go no drugs. However, if the squid is growing at the rapidly expanding rate that he is, my little fatty will be too big to squeeze through these hips of mine. Thus, induction is our best chance. Inducing is scary though. The rates of c-sections do increase. But having a 9lb baby would also increase the odds of a tummy delivery. We're gonna take our chances. Dr Lady feels confident. We'll go with that.
I have an eviction notice now issued for our Lil Squid. Papers to be served Sunday 8 PM. He can leave on his own anytime he wants. However, Monday armed guards will be removing him from the premises. My grandma swears Full Moon means baby deliveries. Look at what I found today:
Full Moon Phase: 2010 Jul 26 01:38 Mon
Either way, I'm gonna be a mom soon.
Weird.
 |
| Professional photos courtesy Monika Herbert at MONPhotography.com |
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
23 Miles Straight Down
Either this guy is the biggest idiot ever (120,000 FEET!!!?? that's like, 23 MILES), or has the biggest balls on the face of the planet (or edge of outerspace). Here's a picture of the guy. Yes, he's kinda hot.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/skydiverplansrecordbreakingsupersonicspacejump/print
Skydiver Plans Record-Breaking Supersonic Space Jump
Zoe Macintosh
A skydiver is making progress with plans to leap from near the edge of space in a dive that would break world records and the sound barrier.
Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner is a step closer to attempting the feat after a series of recent high-altitude test jumps. He plans to make his ambitious jump attempt later this year.
Starting in the stratosphere at 120,000 feet above the ground, Baumgartner will leap from a capsule suspended by a helium balloon near the boundary of space.
Sponsored by the energy drink company Red Bull, Baumgartner's mission — called Red Bull Stratos — seeks to extend the "safety zone" of human atmospheric bailout last set in 1960 by diver Joe Kittinger. This limit defines the uppermost altitude a human being can safely jump from.
"Right now, the space shuttle escape system is certified to 100,000 feet," said the mission's medical director Jonathan Clark, a former NASA flight surgeon. "Why is that? Because Joe Kittinger went there. You've got a lot of companies that are vying for the role of being the commercial space transport provider for tourism, for upper atmospheric science, and so on. These systems, particularly during the test and development phase, need a potential escape system, which we may be able to help them provide with the knowledge we gain." [Graphic: Earth's Atmosphere From Top to Bottom]
Taking the leap
A team of aeronautics experts recently led Baumgartner through a week of testing meant to illuminate any possible weaknesses in his equipment and to familiarize him with the skills needed to navigate the conditions expected to assail him as soon as he opens his vessel door.
Only a few feet above ground in a capsule dangling from a crane on Sage Cheshire Aerospace test grounds in California, Baumgartner practiced exiting and stepping off his hot-air balloon. Even a slight stumble during this step could cause dangerous alterations in his in-flight position only moments later, as well as reduce his chances of actually breaking the sound barrier.
"The team anticipated that the capsule would tip forward when Felix moved his approximately 270-pound self from the seated center position of the capsule to the step-off platform on the edge of the capsule," Red Bull Stratos Aerial Strategist and Skydiving Consultant Luke Aikins told SPACE.com. "What the exercise demonstrated was that the capsule moved only about a foot, which tells us that we don't have to worry about the capsule swinging back violently when Felix steps off."
Baumgartner proceeded to practice his step-off technique from higher up by doing bungee jumps while wearing a pressurized spacesuit and helmet. At 200 feet above ground in an abandoned fairground, the setting was a far cry from a high-altitude jump, but mimicked the sensation of trying to achieve the necessary forward rotation, said mission technical director Art Thompson. After a few leaps, one team member described Baumgartner's performance as "perfect."
"We still have an unknown, which is what happens to my body when I break the speed of sound, but at least we're going to know that I'm able to handle the step-off," Baumgartner said.
Improved equipment
Lastly, the pilot passed several high altitude test dives at 26,000 feet over the desert in Perris, California. Thanks to a new chest pack aligned to one side of his body, Baumgartner exhibited a harmonious passage compared to previous trials a year earlier.
The previous chest pack had jammed his helmet, blocked his vision and constrained his movement during descent and the critical landing.
During the recent tests, body positions and suit deflation went well enough that the team accomplished all of its objectives.
Dive to death
No simple showman, Baumgartner wondered if the dangerous pioneering mission would mean his own death.
"My biggest concern is that dangerous part of the project which we just haven't thought of," Baumgartner said in a statement. "We try to think of every contingency, but there's always going to be something that you would never imagine could happen. And that might kill you."
The possibility has proved daunting enough to impact his decision to invite his own mother to watch the dive.
"If everything is successful, I would love to have her on site, because the first person that I would want to talk with is my mom, of course," he said. "But if something goes wrong, I definitely don't want my mum on site, because I don't want her to witness a fatality. So I still haven't made up my mind."
According to a press officer for Red Bull, the actual experiment will take place somewhere in North America in 2010. Along with a range of experts and test pilots, mentor and former record-setter Joe Kittinger will also be present.
So, homeboy's estimated freefall time will be just over 5 min, 30 seconds. I google's some pictures of Joe Kittinger's jumps, and well, it just looks like a bad idea.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Crown of Favor
I don't often speak of my views on religion, because, honestly, I'm not sure what they are. I know I believe in God, and I pray every night when I fall asleep. I usually ask for strength in regards to whatever troubles I have, pray for my friends and family whose troubles out number mine, and always thank Him for the wonderful things, blessings, in my life.
My mother was raised in the strict Catholic family, which to some extenct, back fired on here. My father's background is Christian based, but really, that's about all I know. I was left somewhere in the middle.
I haven't attended a church service or mass in years, minus weddings and funerals. Usually, when I see someone preaching on television, I become annoyed. There's been one televangilist whom particulary irritates me. I have been so turned off by his appearance and mannerisims, I would always scoff and change the channel.
Not long ago, I turned on the TV and walked away, listening to the backgrounds. The minister, Joel Osteen, carried on. I don't know if it's coincidence I'm up early on Sunday mornings, or if I've started doing it on purpose, but I've started to catch many of his sermons.
Today, the message is on daring to call yourself what you are, before it happens. Osteen is discussing how a person needs to act like the person they want to be, even if they haven't achieved it yet. There's much talk of a Crown of Favor. Something that God has given all of us. We're already in His favor, we don't need to sit around waiting for favor to fall upon us.
And why should we?
If I want to be succesful in a career, I have to tell myself *I AM* successful. Not I will be. Afterall, what's the difference in the am and will? Only the space in your mind. Osteen discusses those with addictions- some day, wishing, hoping, praying to be free. Instead, these people need to say to themselves, I AM free of my addicition. I have overcome.
Even if they haven't.
Even when it's a struggle. You're beat up, down trodden, and feeling low. You hope to have blessings in your life. You ask God for His favor. You think some day things will change. God has already made the change, He has presented you in His favor, now it's time for you to accept them. Claim the changes. Claim the blessings. Your name is already on it, come and get it.
It's the difference of One Day to I Am.
What Crown of Favor will you wear today? What can you do right now to make yourself in a better light? Instead of sitting around today telling myself "I'm going to be fit, I'm going to be beautiful, I'm going to be wealthy," I can tell myself that I AM all of these things.
It's the power of believing.
What can you believe? What can you be?
My mother was raised in the strict Catholic family, which to some extenct, back fired on here. My father's background is Christian based, but really, that's about all I know. I was left somewhere in the middle.
I haven't attended a church service or mass in years, minus weddings and funerals. Usually, when I see someone preaching on television, I become annoyed. There's been one televangilist whom particulary irritates me. I have been so turned off by his appearance and mannerisims, I would always scoff and change the channel.
Not long ago, I turned on the TV and walked away, listening to the backgrounds. The minister, Joel Osteen, carried on. I don't know if it's coincidence I'm up early on Sunday mornings, or if I've started doing it on purpose, but I've started to catch many of his sermons.
Today, the message is on daring to call yourself what you are, before it happens. Osteen is discussing how a person needs to act like the person they want to be, even if they haven't achieved it yet. There's much talk of a Crown of Favor. Something that God has given all of us. We're already in His favor, we don't need to sit around waiting for favor to fall upon us.
And why should we?
If I want to be succesful in a career, I have to tell myself *I AM* successful. Not I will be. Afterall, what's the difference in the am and will? Only the space in your mind. Osteen discusses those with addictions- some day, wishing, hoping, praying to be free. Instead, these people need to say to themselves, I AM free of my addicition. I have overcome.
Even if they haven't.
Even when it's a struggle. You're beat up, down trodden, and feeling low. You hope to have blessings in your life. You ask God for His favor. You think some day things will change. God has already made the change, He has presented you in His favor, now it's time for you to accept them. Claim the changes. Claim the blessings. Your name is already on it, come and get it.
It's the difference of One Day to I Am.
What Crown of Favor will you wear today? What can you do right now to make yourself in a better light? Instead of sitting around today telling myself "I'm going to be fit, I'm going to be beautiful, I'm going to be wealthy," I can tell myself that I AM all of these things.
It's the power of believing.
What can you believe? What can you be?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Oh SlowTwitch
I love SlowTwitch.com. When I have a spare moment, I giggle at all the ridiculous, and seldom not-ridiculous, things the TriGeeks say.
I however, am completly inamoured with the idea of LANCE racing Kona. I'm not sure if he has said he WILL, or if he has, WHEN, but I love the thought of it.
Here's a couple links of the yammering that goes on on a daily basis.
Lance at Kona but how will he get there?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/cgi-bin/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=2886542;page=1;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=-1;guest=105664639&t=search_engine
Anything on The Women's
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/gforum.cgi?forum=7;
Why is there a Clydesdale/Athena Category?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/Why_is_there_a_Clydesdale/Athena_Category_P2879412/
I however, am completly inamoured with the idea of LANCE racing Kona. I'm not sure if he has said he WILL, or if he has, WHEN, but I love the thought of it.
Here's a couple links of the yammering that goes on on a daily basis.
Lance at Kona but how will he get there?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/cgi-bin/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=2886542;page=1;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=-1;guest=105664639&t=search_engine
Anything on The Women's
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/gforum.cgi?forum=7;
Why is there a Clydesdale/Athena Category?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/Why_is_there_a_Clydesdale/Athena_Category_P2879412/
Thursday, June 24, 2010
If I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
* So, Texas gets it's very own full distance Ironman. First race is May 21, 2011. I'm not sure how I feel about all these IMs in the US. There's just so many. I loved it being more exclusive. However, it does provide a lot more options. And, should I ever get to do another IM, a spring one might be the only thing that really works for me. Considering how much I work, specifially in the spring and summer, I don't have the time to devote to training. Not to mention I will need LOTS of time with Lil Dude and Husband, plus household crap, I think spring might be the best option. So, maybe 2012? http://ironmantexas.com/
Off the top of your head, how many Ironman races will be held in the US in 2011? What about in North America? Answer will be at the bottom of the post.
* My dad's 52 birthday this year happens to fall on one of the coolest sporting events ever: Motocross des Nations. And guess where it is: Lakewood, Colorado! http://www.mxthundervalley.com/rev/?page_id=256 This event is usually held in some totally awesome European venue, and this year it's back in the 'States. I know he wants to go. I know husband wants to go. I actually kind of want to go, but not sure if Lil Dude would be into the 10 drive in a motorhome (I wonder if that thing even runs...) at 9 weeks old. I may have to just sent pops and Husband.
*Tomorrow Husband and I are taking our maternity pics. And, of course, I went in to get my nails done, and they were in such bad shape, nail lady said to soak off the acryllics, let them heal, and redo them in a couple weeks. Le Sigh, I really wanted pretty nails. I should take better care of my hands. Then there's this swollen pregnancy face thing. It just started about three days ago, but I have puffy jowels, and a swollen bridge of my nose. It doesnt help I have a honkin' zit right there, but seriously. And my feet and ankles have puffed considerably... but nothing like this lady:
I mean seriously. That's just fat feet, right?
* I have to pee.
* I'm just under 36 weeks now. So, I am giving Lil' Dude until about the 10th of July, and I'm running stairs and doing jumping jacks. He's gonna get an eviction notice soon. To help, I've started taking Evening Primrose Oil Capsules this week. Julie's doula recommended them, then they were on my list of things in birthing class to help induce or ease into labor. Here's something I found regarding the practice:
Off the top of your head, how many Ironman races will be held in the US in 2011? What about in North America? Answer will be at the bottom of the post.
* My dad's 52 birthday this year happens to fall on one of the coolest sporting events ever: Motocross des Nations. And guess where it is: Lakewood, Colorado! http://www.mxthundervalley.com/rev/?page_id=256 This event is usually held in some totally awesome European venue, and this year it's back in the 'States. I know he wants to go. I know husband wants to go. I actually kind of want to go, but not sure if Lil Dude would be into the 10 drive in a motorhome (I wonder if that thing even runs...) at 9 weeks old. I may have to just sent pops and Husband.
*Tomorrow Husband and I are taking our maternity pics. And, of course, I went in to get my nails done, and they were in such bad shape, nail lady said to soak off the acryllics, let them heal, and redo them in a couple weeks. Le Sigh, I really wanted pretty nails. I should take better care of my hands. Then there's this swollen pregnancy face thing. It just started about three days ago, but I have puffy jowels, and a swollen bridge of my nose. It doesnt help I have a honkin' zit right there, but seriously. And my feet and ankles have puffed considerably... but nothing like this lady:
I mean seriously. That's just fat feet, right?
* I have to pee.
* I'm just under 36 weeks now. So, I am giving Lil' Dude until about the 10th of July, and I'm running stairs and doing jumping jacks. He's gonna get an eviction notice soon. To help, I've started taking Evening Primrose Oil Capsules this week. Julie's doula recommended them, then they were on my list of things in birthing class to help induce or ease into labor. Here's something I found regarding the practice:
Evening Primrose Oil and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
Neither will actually induce labor. While some lay midwives will argue that statement about the Evening Primrose, which is the reason it is not recommended until 36 weeks or "full term", almost all sources with experience agree that it does nothing that the body was not ready to do on its own. I will repeat this at the end of this section, to make sure you understand this, as there is a lot of confusion and misconception surrounding these two substances.
Evening primrose oil is an excellent source of prostaglandins, which we already determined readies your cervix for labor. It can be taken orally as soon as 34 weeks, and can be applied directly to the cervix at full term (36 weeks). The general recommendation is two 500mg capsules per day until week 38, at which time you increase to 3-4 per day. The entire capsule can be inserted vaginally (inserted just before bed, it will dissolve before the first time you wake to use the bathroom), or you can use the oil on your fingers for your perineal massage, then also rub on your cervix (assuming you can reach it). Applying directly to the cervix is optimal, but the beneficial ingredients are absorbed through the external skin or the stomach also.
Red raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic used by Native Americans for thousands of years. It tones your uterus by helping to "focus" your Braxton Hicks contractions. Think of its job as helping your uterus do more effective exercising while you are pregnant. It does not "cause" contractions and can be safely used throughout pregnancy. It is contraindicated for those having complications "just in case", however, by most doctors who do not understand its use. Many women safely use it from the moment they learn they are pregnant at six weeks until months after delivery. (It helps to tone the uterus after delivery as well, shrinking it back to size more quickly and reducing bleeding.)
Again, neither of these actually causes labor to start.
Neither will actually induce labor. While some lay midwives will argue that statement about the Evening Primrose, which is the reason it is not recommended until 36 weeks or "full term", almost all sources with experience agree that it does nothing that the body was not ready to do on its own. I will repeat this at the end of this section, to make sure you understand this, as there is a lot of confusion and misconception surrounding these two substances.
Evening primrose oil is an excellent source of prostaglandins, which we already determined readies your cervix for labor. It can be taken orally as soon as 34 weeks, and can be applied directly to the cervix at full term (36 weeks). The general recommendation is two 500mg capsules per day until week 38, at which time you increase to 3-4 per day. The entire capsule can be inserted vaginally (inserted just before bed, it will dissolve before the first time you wake to use the bathroom), or you can use the oil on your fingers for your perineal massage, then also rub on your cervix (assuming you can reach it). Applying directly to the cervix is optimal, but the beneficial ingredients are absorbed through the external skin or the stomach also.
Red raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic used by Native Americans for thousands of years. It tones your uterus by helping to "focus" your Braxton Hicks contractions. Think of its job as helping your uterus do more effective exercising while you are pregnant. It does not "cause" contractions and can be safely used throughout pregnancy. It is contraindicated for those having complications "just in case", however, by most doctors who do not understand its use. Many women safely use it from the moment they learn they are pregnant at six weeks until months after delivery. (It helps to tone the uterus after delivery as well, shrinking it back to size more quickly and reducing bleeding.)
Again, neither of these actually causes labor to start.
Just to clarify: I'm not sticking capsules up my hoo-ha. They are taken orally, thankyouverymuch. Still in search of: Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (Pregnancy Tea). Julie and Chrissy have both found the tea, so I'm going to get them to get me some. I went on an exploration that included Consentino's, Nature's Pantry, and Hy-Vee, all to giagantic fails.
* I may or may not have tried on my boob pump. Yes, it will suck something out. I didnt turn it up high enough to see if it would suck something out right now, but, I'm pretty sure it could. I also stuck the vaccum displayed at birthing class onto husbands arm and pumped. I think he might have a hickey the size of a peanut butter jar. I started laughing really hard because I couldnt figure out how in the hell to release the pressue. We are *that* couple in class.
Answer:
US Ironman events, including Kona: 9.
North American events: 11.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Boob Gate 2010
My boobs are huge. Prior to being pregnant, my boobs were BIG, but not ridiculously massive. I could still race in a swim suit if I wanted to. However, going from a 36 D to a 38 F (as in What The F!) is not exactly taking too kindly to me.
Pull up a chair, and let me illustrate what has now become Boob Gate 2010.
Yesterday morning I got work feeling less frazzled than normal, mostly because I looked cute. I was wearing this super cute green dress, and a black one button cardigan. It's so comfy. However, the tube top part has started to become a little snug. No big deal though. Here's what I think I looked like.
Cute, right? Well, I thought it was a darling outfit.
I had a 9am appointment with a potentional new lifeguard. She's young, and impresssionable. Just the way I like them- makes them easy to train. What's this got to do with Boob Gate 2010? Please, stay with me.
We hold the interview in my office. It's got a long L shape desk that sits up against a window overlooking my pool.
See? Here's my chair, and the chair the interviewee was in. The interview went well, but about halfway through she seemed to get really nervous. Like, Really nervous. And she stopped looking at me. What is with teenagers that makes them all of sudden get weird? I thought maybe it had something to do with my discussing what a tight ship we run, and how I have a zero tolerance for a lot of things. We also discussed appearance and professionalism. That's really important to me, as I put (way too) much emphasis on how I look, as that's how people percieve you. She was all fine and dandy, but a little weird averting eye contact. Maybe she had a short attention span. Regardless, things went well, I told her I was intrested in having her on my staff. In conclusion, I stood up to shake her hand and thank her for coming in. That's when I turned to my left to look out at my pool.
That's an old picture of my office. I now have a dry erase board on the outside that also acts as a mirror of sorts for me. As I was looking out at my guard, I realized, through the reflection of my window-mirror, I now looked like this:
That's right, ya'll. My super super cute little green tube dress betrayed me, my cardigan, and giant nude colored nursing bra.
The Girls Were Out. The tube part had slide down to right underneath my bra. I hadn't felt a thing.
All of my right boob, and pretty much all of the left. Out. Actually, they weren't entirely alone. You see, I was leaning forward for most of the interview, with my gut hanging... and the Girls just sitting on top.
So, here I am, talking to the new hire about the Christian principles of the YMCA, and I have my tee-tas in her face, three feet away.
Stunned, I pulled my top up and stood there, looking away. I finally turned back towards her, and apologized. I AM SO SORRY. I DID NOT KNOW.
She then says, "I was going to say something but I thought it would be rude."
Ooookay. Let's go back to young and impressionable. If I were interviewing a 30-something, she would have said "Sorry, your top is down." I could have pulled it up and continued. No, teeny bopped Tina didn't have the balls to say to her potential new boss "Ma'am, your tits are out." I politely suggested that it might be rude NOT to tell someone the milk jugs are swinging freely.
I'm going to skip the second interview and send her to training. I don't really want to see her again until I feel less like a flasher.
Awesome.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Chill Out, Yo!
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/05/03/o.well.lived.life.key/index.html?hpt=Sbin
Lighten up on yourself to have a better life
By Elizabeth Gilbert, O, The Oprah Magazine
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Author: Too many women stress over whether they are accomplishing enough
Also, women find more faults when comparing themselves to other women
Writer urges women to accept mistakes, letting others be more perfect
RELATED TOPICS
Stress
Relationships
(OPRAH.com) -- Nearly all the women I know are stressing themselves sick over the pathological fear that they simply aren't doing enough with their lives.
Which is crazy -- absolutely flat-out bananas -- because the women I know do a lot, and they do it well.
My cousin Sarah, for instance, is earning her master's degree in international relations, while simultaneously working for a nonprofit that builds playgrounds at woefully underfunded public schools.
Kate is staying home and raising the two most enchanting children I've ever met -- while also working on a cookbook.
Donna is producing Hollywood blockbusters; Stacy is running a London bank; Polly just launched an artisanal bakery...
By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life.
Sarah worries that she should be traveling around the world instead of committing to a master's degree. Kate worries that she's wasting her education by staying home with her kids. Donna worries that she's endangering her marriage by working such long hours. Stacy worries that the capitalistic world of banking is murdering her creativity. Polly worries that her artisanal bakery might not be quite capitalistic enough.
All of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.
It's terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)
Oprah.com: Why women never hear the good stuff
So here's what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?
As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?
When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days -- with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents -- I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through.
But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map.
As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn -- whoops, that was a suffering button!
Oprah.com: 10 life lessons you should unlearn
To make matters even more stressful, we constantly measure ourselves against each other's progress, which is a truly dreadful habit.
My sister, Catherine, told me recently about a conversation she'd had with a sweet neighbor who -- after watching Catherine spend an afternoon organizing a scavenger hunt for all the local kids -- said sadly, "You're such a better mother than I will ever be." At which point, my sister grabbed her friend's hands and said, "Please. Let's not do this to each other, okay?"
No, seriously -- please. Let's not.
Because it breaks my heart to know that so many amazing women are waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning and abusing themselves for not having gone to art school, or for not having learned to speak French, or for not having organized the neighborhood scavenger hunt. I fear that -- if we continue this mad quest for perfection -- we will all end up as stressed-out and jumpy as those stray cats who live in Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants, forever scavenging for scraps of survival while pulling out their own hair in hypervigilant anxiety.
Oprah.com: 6 steps to a regret-proof life
So let's drop it, maybe?
Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen.
Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.)
While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet.
Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted -- by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you -- trust me -- for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.
Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.
Map your own life.
By Elizabeth Gilbert from O, The Oprah Magazine © 2010
Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" and "Committed"
Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 75% off the newsstand price. That's like getting 18 issues FREE.Subscribe now!
TM & © 2010 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Lighten up on yourself to have a better life
By Elizabeth Gilbert, O, The Oprah Magazine
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Author: Too many women stress over whether they are accomplishing enough
Also, women find more faults when comparing themselves to other women
Writer urges women to accept mistakes, letting others be more perfect
RELATED TOPICS
Stress
Relationships
(OPRAH.com) -- Nearly all the women I know are stressing themselves sick over the pathological fear that they simply aren't doing enough with their lives.
Which is crazy -- absolutely flat-out bananas -- because the women I know do a lot, and they do it well.
My cousin Sarah, for instance, is earning her master's degree in international relations, while simultaneously working for a nonprofit that builds playgrounds at woefully underfunded public schools.
Kate is staying home and raising the two most enchanting children I've ever met -- while also working on a cookbook.
Donna is producing Hollywood blockbusters; Stacy is running a London bank; Polly just launched an artisanal bakery...
By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life.
Sarah worries that she should be traveling around the world instead of committing to a master's degree. Kate worries that she's wasting her education by staying home with her kids. Donna worries that she's endangering her marriage by working such long hours. Stacy worries that the capitalistic world of banking is murdering her creativity. Polly worries that her artisanal bakery might not be quite capitalistic enough.
All of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.
It's terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)
Oprah.com: Why women never hear the good stuff
So here's what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?
As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?
When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days -- with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents -- I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through.
But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map.
As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn -- whoops, that was a suffering button!
Oprah.com: 10 life lessons you should unlearn
To make matters even more stressful, we constantly measure ourselves against each other's progress, which is a truly dreadful habit.
My sister, Catherine, told me recently about a conversation she'd had with a sweet neighbor who -- after watching Catherine spend an afternoon organizing a scavenger hunt for all the local kids -- said sadly, "You're such a better mother than I will ever be." At which point, my sister grabbed her friend's hands and said, "Please. Let's not do this to each other, okay?"
No, seriously -- please. Let's not.
Because it breaks my heart to know that so many amazing women are waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning and abusing themselves for not having gone to art school, or for not having learned to speak French, or for not having organized the neighborhood scavenger hunt. I fear that -- if we continue this mad quest for perfection -- we will all end up as stressed-out and jumpy as those stray cats who live in Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants, forever scavenging for scraps of survival while pulling out their own hair in hypervigilant anxiety.
Oprah.com: 6 steps to a regret-proof life
So let's drop it, maybe?
Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen.
Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.)
While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet.
Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted -- by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you -- trust me -- for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.
Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.
Map your own life.
By Elizabeth Gilbert from O, The Oprah Magazine © 2010
Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" and "Committed"
Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 75% off the newsstand price. That's like getting 18 issues FREE.Subscribe now!
TM & © 2010 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I Miss It.
I really miss triathlon. I did two tris last summer. I was busy, had other plans. Now, more than ever, I miss it. As the weather perks up, and spring mornings remind me of my pre-dawn runs before work, and the warm breezes of evening usher in the smells of the grill- which, believe it or not, remind me more of riding my bike thru Lake Lotawana wishing I was grilling, than of the food itself- I want to training. I want to be racing.
I'm starting to reach a point in my pregnancy that makes me think "Oh crap, nothing will be the same." I know it's all for the better. This was something I wanted bad, but just didnt expect to happen so soon. Now I'm wondering if I did enough living pre-parenthood. I know my life isn't over, thank God, but I also know I can't just pack up and go for a bike ride when I get home from work a year from now.
It's too early for me to start planning what races I'll attend, and mostly if my mind, body and family will stand for another Iron distance race next year. I'm doubting that, and looking more toward 2012. That would be five years from my first Ironman. I can't believe it's been three already!
Yesterday, I was mulling over race results from the Boston Marathon. My old neighbor qualified last year and raced. Looks like he did well. I was thinking to myself if I would ever be fast enough to qualify for Boston (no). But what about Kona? My chance was probably in the 18-24 age group, which, I have now left (le sigh). But, I think I have a much better chance of making it in triathlon, than in running alone. And, probably in the half distance, thru courtesy of a rolldown... okay you're right this is all wishful thinking. If I'm going to Kona it's by lottery. And, it will probably be ten years down the road. But that's okay. Because, according to Bree Wee, moms are faster anyway.
I keep telling myself that I can do the Kansas City Half Marathon in October. I mean, I did a 10k at 20 some weeks pregnant, so I can struggle thru a half sans baby in belly. Part of me, the sick, sadistic part, says to race the full, but I know better than that. Right now, I need to sit back and relax. Let myself be hungry for triathlon again.
I'm starting to reach a point in my pregnancy that makes me think "Oh crap, nothing will be the same." I know it's all for the better. This was something I wanted bad, but just didnt expect to happen so soon. Now I'm wondering if I did enough living pre-parenthood. I know my life isn't over, thank God, but I also know I can't just pack up and go for a bike ride when I get home from work a year from now.
It's too early for me to start planning what races I'll attend, and mostly if my mind, body and family will stand for another Iron distance race next year. I'm doubting that, and looking more toward 2012. That would be five years from my first Ironman. I can't believe it's been three already!
Yesterday, I was mulling over race results from the Boston Marathon. My old neighbor qualified last year and raced. Looks like he did well. I was thinking to myself if I would ever be fast enough to qualify for Boston (no). But what about Kona? My chance was probably in the 18-24 age group, which, I have now left (le sigh). But, I think I have a much better chance of making it in triathlon, than in running alone. And, probably in the half distance, thru courtesy of a rolldown... okay you're right this is all wishful thinking. If I'm going to Kona it's by lottery. And, it will probably be ten years down the road. But that's okay. Because, according to Bree Wee, moms are faster anyway.
I keep telling myself that I can do the Kansas City Half Marathon in October. I mean, I did a 10k at 20 some weeks pregnant, so I can struggle thru a half sans baby in belly. Part of me, the sick, sadistic part, says to race the full, but I know better than that. Right now, I need to sit back and relax. Let myself be hungry for triathlon again.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Running: Rock the Parkway 10k
Sooo, I've been running more lately. And, ya know what? It's great! I ran/walked (ran for the first time in weeks) in a 10k last weekend. It was freaking freezing and raining and totally unpleasant. I kept thinking "This is fun, right?" But it really wasn't. Good thing misery loves company. My friend Jean kept me going, although she was just as cold and wet and miserable. This was a trashbag race, much like the Lincoln 007 half (read about that peach of a race Here and Here). What a great day to be undertrained, pregnant, and running a 10k. As you can see, I was quite excited. ---->
I did have a kind of funny shirt that said something to the effect of "baby's first 10k" and "Yes, it's safe to run" but really I don't think it was that funny or that clever, but it's what I had to work with.
Bottom line, I "ran" a 10k 6 months pregnant.
Twice this week, however, husband and I ventured out to get in a few miles. Once with the dogs thru the new subdivision for a whopping 2.18 miles. Then last night, at one of my particular favorites, the Jacomo trails. He took the mountain bike and I hoofed it. No bike for me. L--aaa--mm-e. Anyway, I got in over 3 and was happy with that. It seems strange and trivial to run for 3 miles. Like, why's it worth the effort? But, then I tell myself I'm not training for an Ironman, or even a half mary, but just for my general health and labor, and for the health of little Eli (yes, the parasite in my body has a name now).
We had a good workout each, and came home to grill out some delicious chicken and potatoes. Awesome.
Not exactly the stress free week I was hoping for, but it's Friday and it is what it is. At least I have two consecutive days off starting tomorrow.
I'm not sure why, but everytime I think to myself about it being Friday, I always think of the movie Friday, and this line:
"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."
PS
Monday, March 22, 2010
Stolen: Things People Say
This is stolen straight from the ELF. Click here to see her blog.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Things People Say
WARNING: Very sassy, sarcastic post ahead!I’m going to start a Twitter account called “things people say to me while pregnant.”Call me a little sensitive, a lot vulnerable and sometimes so uncomfortable with feeling so big and uncomfortable but is it just me or does it feel like pregnancy gives people a license to say things to you that they wouldn’t otherwise say. If you are pregnant or have been pregnant you know what I mean. And know why I'm begging for a little more discretion in dealing with the pregnant woman please.Now, I mean no offense. Really, I don’t. Please forgive me of all sass because I am, after all, pregnant, raging with hormones and about to make my 14th trip to the bathroom for today. But here goes, a (long) list of things people say to you when pregnant....
#1 – Anything said about weight gain by the woman who is not pregnant nor has ever been pregnant.Telling you that you only need 300 more calories a day when pregnant. How soon until you can shut your piehole? There are things you don’t know. Being pregnant changes your body. That doesn’t mean that I am nose deep in ice cream every night nor going to stay “fat” for the rest of my life. It just means that there are things you cannot control in life and this is one of them. The body will do what it wants to do. If and when you get pregnant, we will see what your body will do. And I will be there to help you count those 300 extra calories a day.
#2 – Anything said by a man about his once pregnant wife.Don't tell me your wife only gained xx (read: very few) pounds in pregnancy. There is no medal for delivering without drugs just like there is no medal for gaining the least amount of weight. Either way we all get the same thing at the finish line – baby. I gained her total pounds before week 20. I got there faster. Know what that means? I win.
#3 – Anything said by a man about your weight gain.Things like – wow, you’re really getting big or wow, every time I see you, you are eating. I ask you though – when does he have to give up many things that he likes in life to become 25+ pounds bigger with a small mammal growing inside of him. He does not. And because of that, the proper thing to say is "wow you look beautiful" or "gee can I get you some more _____(what you are eating)."
#4 – Stories from your mom about how she finished her pregnancy at the weight you started at. Nothing more needs to be said.
#5 – Stories from the woman who gained over 50 pounds while pregnant.To some extent, she is my hero. She looked at the angry ocean of pregnancy, said fuck it and jumped right into a bag of chips, a gallon of ice cream and whatever the hell she wanted every single day. She knew she was going to be uncomfortable no matter what so might as well go at it full tilt. I have a friend who gained 75 pounds while pregnant. When I asked her how she accomplished that amazing feat she admitted it took a lot of Cinnabons and Oreo McFlurries. THAT takes balls.
#6 – People who say “If you keep ______, that baby’s going to fall right out.”Let’s see: the baby falls out or I spend possibly 36 hours pushing it out while shitting myself. I’ll take my chances.
#7 – People who disagree with your attitude that as soon as you enter the hospital, a source of drugs should enter your veins.It’s like talking to someone about god. Get ready to agree to disagree. I can’t say that I really care which way the baby comes out, just as long as it comes out. There’s a lot of things to feel guilty about in life (tapping into free cable from Comcast, eating the last spoonful of Nutella, blowing my nose on the indoor track at the gym when no one is around), taking drugs during labor is not one of them. There will be plenty of Mommy-guilt every time I want to take my eyes off my kid for the next 18 years.
#8 – Someone who doesn’t realize you are over 5 months pregnant until you tell them.Is this an insult or the best compliment in the world? Happened to me the other day. I’ve seen this guy every 2 weeks or so since December. When he asked if I would be riding my bike outside this week, I told him I can’t do that anymore. His face turned white and he said “you aren’t?” Well, I have been for the past 22 weeks! Does this mean that he sat there for over 5 months thinking to himself, wow, she’s really packing on the pounds or am I hiding what has to be 8 pounds of placenta, 5 pounds of boob and 4 pounds of edema THAT well?
#9 – Once pregnant women who tell you that your _______(enter body part) will never be the same.News flash: after gaining what feels like 100 pounds and watching the skin of your stomach migrate to the next zip code outside of your body, it will never go back to its original state. You mean – that 60 buck tub of cream from Pea in the Pod wasn’t blessed by magical anti-stretch-mark elves? Please let me believe that everything will just snap right back into place.
#10 – When someone informs you that “you are starting to show”.I’m starting to show. Really. Funny because when I looked down today and couldn’t see my vagina I was thinking that I might be able to hide this FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. Amen to showing – finally I can stop feeling like the chick who’s getting a little bit of chubchub around her waist and move on to the we-can-finally-ask-her-when-she’s-due-without-embarrassing-ourselves category.
#11 – Women who kindly inform you that being pregnant in the summer is hell.Because I haven’t already lived through 25 summers in the ass crack of the Midwest summer, these women remind you that being 30+ pounds overweight, bloated and waddling through a 90 degree day with 90% humidity is not as fun as you thought it would be. Neither was the marathon at Kona but I still did that in a Boston qualifying time. Both times. Thankyouverymuch.
#12 – Incessantly being asked “how are you feeling?”Imagine greeting someone every single time with how are you feeling. It’s not just that they ask you the question, they lower their voice and say it in such a way that you think that you might just look AND feel really bad. You think to yourself: am I dying? What you really want to say is: I feel f*cking amazing. How do you think I feel. I’ve already gained 16 percent of starting my body weight and I haven’t crapped in 3 days.
#13 – When someone asks, “are you sure you should be doing that?”If I could walk around with freedom to say that to anyone in the world, imagine the responses I would get. To all smokers, fast food eaters, texting while driving drivers, people posting their workout stats as part of their Facebook status update: are you sure you should be doing that? One night, I took a sip of wine and someone said “are you sure you should be doing that?” Listen, if that’s all it takes to harm this kid then he’s in trouble. I've got a 10-lb killer chihuahua living at my house.
#14 – Stories about how labor is godawfulmostpainfulmessynightmareGosh, I was thinking that squeezing a watermelon through a hole that used to make me think – how will I ever get a tampon in there – will feel so good I’ll shove the kid back in so I can do it again.
#15 – “You look great.”Really? Do I REALLY look great? Don’t lie to me. This is like when a spectator tells you that you look great at mile 18 of the Ironman marathon. No I don’t. I’ve been sunburned, pissed myself a dozen times and I am so desperate for salt I am licking my arm for the sweat. I look like hell rolled over me. Here's the deal: you don't look great, you just look pregnant.
#16 – Being reminded that I’ll never _____ again (sleep, go out to eat, have sex, take a vacation, live a normal life).I would imagine that taking on the responsibility of another life involves sacrifice. This is why we waited 10 years to have a child. We’ll make the sacrifices. Life will change. Like most change in life, it will be hard. You telling me hard it will be doesn’t make me think it is any harder. I think back to the race course in Corner Brook. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about the EPIC climb on the course. Turns out that epic climb was something you could stomp up out of the saddle in your big ring. This will be hard but we’ll be the judge of how hard it is. If it’s really hard, I’ll bring my road bike. If it’s epic, I’ll put on my compact crank.
#17 – Stories about pregnancy from women who gave birth to twins (or more).Nothing they she says is stupid, in fact it’s pure genius. Higher value wisdom than she-who-gained-50pluspounds. She says it’s hard, she knows hard. She says she breastfed – two at one time, she basically double-fisted it. She says she didn’t see her vagina after week 12, she’s a legend.
#18 – After being asked how you feel and told you look great it’s only a matter of time before someone asks “when are you due”.I’m due when the baby comes out. He will come out when he’s ready to come out. It could be on a specific day but about 80 percent of the time it occurs after that specific day. So what this all means is that I have no idea when the baby will be born. You can now stop asking me. Every time you ask me it reminds me I still have ___ months to go before I can shed this fat suit. And when I tell you late July it inevitably leads to #11.
#19 – When your husband tells you that he'll still love you even if you don’t lose the weight.I know he means well. But that doesn’t mean I want to hear it. Let’s pretend like I lose all the weight in 3 days and I go back to being me again. Tell me you will only love me then because I’m a pretty competitive person and I need a little fire under my ass. If you tell me you’ll love me no matter what that makes me feel like I have permission to walk around looking 6-months pregnant for the rest of my life. Tell me to nut up and get my ass back in shape or something. Call me Chubs. I’m going to need some motivation.
#20 – Strangers who ask “have you thought about names?”Listen, I’ve had this child named since I was 12 years old. OF COURSE we’ve thought about names! But the real question is why should we tell? Chances are you’re going to tell me some story about a kid you knew in the first grade with the same name who stood in the corner eating paste while shitting his pants. Thanks for the visual. Now, what’s your kid named? Really? I knew a kid with that name who ate his own boogers every day at lunch.
Now, it's not all that way. Know that for all the crazy things people say, you get about ten times as many good things that make you feel warm beyond words. And, of course I write this with the sass and humor that you need to have when you realize that even your underwear doesn't fit you anymore or that you just got out of breath while bending down to tie your shoes. So, cheers to all the pregnant women out there. Carry on, no matter what they say and remember, the correct answer is always: I feel great. Repeat after me: I - feel - great.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Things People Say
WARNING: Very sassy, sarcastic post ahead!I’m going to start a Twitter account called “things people say to me while pregnant.”Call me a little sensitive, a lot vulnerable and sometimes so uncomfortable with feeling so big and uncomfortable but is it just me or does it feel like pregnancy gives people a license to say things to you that they wouldn’t otherwise say. If you are pregnant or have been pregnant you know what I mean. And know why I'm begging for a little more discretion in dealing with the pregnant woman please.Now, I mean no offense. Really, I don’t. Please forgive me of all sass because I am, after all, pregnant, raging with hormones and about to make my 14th trip to the bathroom for today. But here goes, a (long) list of things people say to you when pregnant....
#1 – Anything said about weight gain by the woman who is not pregnant nor has ever been pregnant.Telling you that you only need 300 more calories a day when pregnant. How soon until you can shut your piehole? There are things you don’t know. Being pregnant changes your body. That doesn’t mean that I am nose deep in ice cream every night nor going to stay “fat” for the rest of my life. It just means that there are things you cannot control in life and this is one of them. The body will do what it wants to do. If and when you get pregnant, we will see what your body will do. And I will be there to help you count those 300 extra calories a day.
#2 – Anything said by a man about his once pregnant wife.Don't tell me your wife only gained xx (read: very few) pounds in pregnancy. There is no medal for delivering without drugs just like there is no medal for gaining the least amount of weight. Either way we all get the same thing at the finish line – baby. I gained her total pounds before week 20. I got there faster. Know what that means? I win.
#3 – Anything said by a man about your weight gain.Things like – wow, you’re really getting big or wow, every time I see you, you are eating. I ask you though – when does he have to give up many things that he likes in life to become 25+ pounds bigger with a small mammal growing inside of him. He does not. And because of that, the proper thing to say is "wow you look beautiful" or "gee can I get you some more _____(what you are eating)."
#4 – Stories from your mom about how she finished her pregnancy at the weight you started at. Nothing more needs to be said.
#5 – Stories from the woman who gained over 50 pounds while pregnant.To some extent, she is my hero. She looked at the angry ocean of pregnancy, said fuck it and jumped right into a bag of chips, a gallon of ice cream and whatever the hell she wanted every single day. She knew she was going to be uncomfortable no matter what so might as well go at it full tilt. I have a friend who gained 75 pounds while pregnant. When I asked her how she accomplished that amazing feat she admitted it took a lot of Cinnabons and Oreo McFlurries. THAT takes balls.
#6 – People who say “If you keep ______, that baby’s going to fall right out.”Let’s see: the baby falls out or I spend possibly 36 hours pushing it out while shitting myself. I’ll take my chances.
#7 – People who disagree with your attitude that as soon as you enter the hospital, a source of drugs should enter your veins.It’s like talking to someone about god. Get ready to agree to disagree. I can’t say that I really care which way the baby comes out, just as long as it comes out. There’s a lot of things to feel guilty about in life (tapping into free cable from Comcast, eating the last spoonful of Nutella, blowing my nose on the indoor track at the gym when no one is around), taking drugs during labor is not one of them. There will be plenty of Mommy-guilt every time I want to take my eyes off my kid for the next 18 years.
#8 – Someone who doesn’t realize you are over 5 months pregnant until you tell them.Is this an insult or the best compliment in the world? Happened to me the other day. I’ve seen this guy every 2 weeks or so since December. When he asked if I would be riding my bike outside this week, I told him I can’t do that anymore. His face turned white and he said “you aren’t?” Well, I have been for the past 22 weeks! Does this mean that he sat there for over 5 months thinking to himself, wow, she’s really packing on the pounds or am I hiding what has to be 8 pounds of placenta, 5 pounds of boob and 4 pounds of edema THAT well?
#9 – Once pregnant women who tell you that your _______(enter body part) will never be the same.News flash: after gaining what feels like 100 pounds and watching the skin of your stomach migrate to the next zip code outside of your body, it will never go back to its original state. You mean – that 60 buck tub of cream from Pea in the Pod wasn’t blessed by magical anti-stretch-mark elves? Please let me believe that everything will just snap right back into place.
#10 – When someone informs you that “you are starting to show”.I’m starting to show. Really. Funny because when I looked down today and couldn’t see my vagina I was thinking that I might be able to hide this FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. Amen to showing – finally I can stop feeling like the chick who’s getting a little bit of chubchub around her waist and move on to the we-can-finally-ask-her-when-she’s-due-without-embarrassing-ourselves category.
#11 – Women who kindly inform you that being pregnant in the summer is hell.Because I haven’t already lived through 25 summers in the ass crack of the Midwest summer, these women remind you that being 30+ pounds overweight, bloated and waddling through a 90 degree day with 90% humidity is not as fun as you thought it would be. Neither was the marathon at Kona but I still did that in a Boston qualifying time. Both times. Thankyouverymuch.
#12 – Incessantly being asked “how are you feeling?”Imagine greeting someone every single time with how are you feeling. It’s not just that they ask you the question, they lower their voice and say it in such a way that you think that you might just look AND feel really bad. You think to yourself: am I dying? What you really want to say is: I feel f*cking amazing. How do you think I feel. I’ve already gained 16 percent of starting my body weight and I haven’t crapped in 3 days.
#13 – When someone asks, “are you sure you should be doing that?”If I could walk around with freedom to say that to anyone in the world, imagine the responses I would get. To all smokers, fast food eaters, texting while driving drivers, people posting their workout stats as part of their Facebook status update: are you sure you should be doing that? One night, I took a sip of wine and someone said “are you sure you should be doing that?” Listen, if that’s all it takes to harm this kid then he’s in trouble. I've got a 10-lb killer chihuahua living at my house.
#14 – Stories about how labor is godawfulmostpainfulmessynightmareGosh, I was thinking that squeezing a watermelon through a hole that used to make me think – how will I ever get a tampon in there – will feel so good I’ll shove the kid back in so I can do it again.
#15 – “You look great.”Really? Do I REALLY look great? Don’t lie to me. This is like when a spectator tells you that you look great at mile 18 of the Ironman marathon. No I don’t. I’ve been sunburned, pissed myself a dozen times and I am so desperate for salt I am licking my arm for the sweat. I look like hell rolled over me. Here's the deal: you don't look great, you just look pregnant.
#16 – Being reminded that I’ll never _____ again (sleep, go out to eat, have sex, take a vacation, live a normal life).I would imagine that taking on the responsibility of another life involves sacrifice. This is why we waited 10 years to have a child. We’ll make the sacrifices. Life will change. Like most change in life, it will be hard. You telling me hard it will be doesn’t make me think it is any harder. I think back to the race course in Corner Brook. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about the EPIC climb on the course. Turns out that epic climb was something you could stomp up out of the saddle in your big ring. This will be hard but we’ll be the judge of how hard it is. If it’s really hard, I’ll bring my road bike. If it’s epic, I’ll put on my compact crank.
#17 – Stories about pregnancy from women who gave birth to twins (or more).Nothing they she says is stupid, in fact it’s pure genius. Higher value wisdom than she-who-gained-50pluspounds. She says it’s hard, she knows hard. She says she breastfed – two at one time, she basically double-fisted it. She says she didn’t see her vagina after week 12, she’s a legend.
#18 – After being asked how you feel and told you look great it’s only a matter of time before someone asks “when are you due”.I’m due when the baby comes out. He will come out when he’s ready to come out. It could be on a specific day but about 80 percent of the time it occurs after that specific day. So what this all means is that I have no idea when the baby will be born. You can now stop asking me. Every time you ask me it reminds me I still have ___ months to go before I can shed this fat suit. And when I tell you late July it inevitably leads to #11.
#19 – When your husband tells you that he'll still love you even if you don’t lose the weight.I know he means well. But that doesn’t mean I want to hear it. Let’s pretend like I lose all the weight in 3 days and I go back to being me again. Tell me you will only love me then because I’m a pretty competitive person and I need a little fire under my ass. If you tell me you’ll love me no matter what that makes me feel like I have permission to walk around looking 6-months pregnant for the rest of my life. Tell me to nut up and get my ass back in shape or something. Call me Chubs. I’m going to need some motivation.
#20 – Strangers who ask “have you thought about names?”Listen, I’ve had this child named since I was 12 years old. OF COURSE we’ve thought about names! But the real question is why should we tell? Chances are you’re going to tell me some story about a kid you knew in the first grade with the same name who stood in the corner eating paste while shitting his pants. Thanks for the visual. Now, what’s your kid named? Really? I knew a kid with that name who ate his own boogers every day at lunch.
Now, it's not all that way. Know that for all the crazy things people say, you get about ten times as many good things that make you feel warm beyond words. And, of course I write this with the sass and humor that you need to have when you realize that even your underwear doesn't fit you anymore or that you just got out of breath while bending down to tie your shoes. So, cheers to all the pregnant women out there. Carry on, no matter what they say and remember, the correct answer is always: I feel great. Repeat after me: I - feel - great.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Farmville is dumb.
There, I said it. Farmville is dumb. Please do not send me any Farmville requests on Facebook. Facebooks itself is a big enough time dump, I do not want nor care to see or hear anything pertaining to Farmville.
Old MacDonald was busy at WORK (ya know, on an actual farm), and never would have had time for something so ridiculous.
The Facebook games that millions love (and hate)
By Doug Gross, CNN
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Zynga games like FarmVille, Mafia Wars are played by millions every day on Facebook
Expert says social gaming succeeds by appealing to women, other non-traditional gamers
Zynga founder says key to success was games that can be played during conference call
Backlash leads to FB group of 5 million saying they're tired of seeing games
(CNN) -- Early each morning, millions of farmers around the world rise to toil in their fields. By night, gangs of mobsters scheme and legions of poker players shuffle up and deal.
Sure, none of it's real. But the overwhelming popularity of so-called social gaming -- simple games that let people play with their friends on networking sites such as Facebook -- is changing the face of video games, experts say.
And as the maker of popular titles like FarmVille and Mafia Wars, San Francisco, California-based Zynga has ridden the games' skyrocketing popularity to the top of that emerging market.
For Zynga founder Mark Pincus, the formula for gaming success on Facebook, MySpace and other sites was as simple as it might seem counterintuitive: create simple games that people like but can easily set aside.
"We built the games so they could be played in a tab on your browser while you're on a conference call," said Pincus, a veteran Web entrepreneur who created Zynga in 2007.
Of course, they've been helped by the massive growth of Facebook, where the games are so popular they've spawned "fan" pages devoted to complaining about having to watch friends play them.
Facebook, with its 400 million users, is where the vast majority of people play FarmVille and Mafia Wars along with other Zynga titles like FishVille, Vampires, Café World, YoVille and Zynga Poker.
In all, more than 65 million people play Zynga games every day, according to media tracking company Developer Analytics.
Zynga's top title, FarmVille, is played by an estimated 75 million people each month -- roughly equal to the number who have played the classic arcade and desktop game Tetris during its entire existence.
The massive growth was satisfying but not altogether surprising to Pincus, whose previous startups had included Freeloader, a Web-based information-gathering service; tech-support company SupportSoft; and Tribe.net, an early social networking site from 2003.
He said that starting the game company, which he named after his late English bulldog, was an effort to fill what he considered a surprising void in most people's daily Internet use.
"I thought in 2007 that something had gone oddly wrong with the whole Internet experience," Pincus said. "I would have thought games would have been one of the top two or three experiences people had on the Internet."
What Pincus got right, according to gaming expert Scott Steinberg, was a sort of return to the "golden era" of games like Pac-man and Super Mario Bros.
"Video games actually appealed to a huge cross-section. They appealed to everybody," said Steinberg, publisher of DigitalTrends.com. "What happened is, as we went through the mid-'80s to the mid-2000s, you started to see gaming become more incestuous in terms of 18- to 34-year-old males making games for people just like them."
By contrast, three of Zynga's top five games -- FarmVille, Café World and FishVille -- have mostly female players, with many players outside the traditional 18- to 34-year-old range.
Those games all operate on the same basic premise. Starting with a simple farm, fish tank or restaurant, the player works to make it bigger and fancier, sharing items with friends and helping each other along the way.
Some of Zynga's early titles simply mirrored existing board and card games. It was Mafia Wars -- in which players team up to whack other gangs-- that first exhibited what would become the hallmarks of social gaming: simple, single-player action that's enhanced by teamwork.
With FarmVille, that formula would become complete.
Players plant virtual crops that can be harvested hours, or days, later. Along the way, they invite online friends to become their neighbors and help each other by sending gifts or helping with the farming.There's no way to "win," but players take satisfaction in building big, fancy farms that they can showcase to their friends.
"A farm is something that is internationally understood and known. It's cross-cultural, cross-gender, cross-age," Pincus said. "A great social game should be like a great cocktail party. If you want it to appeal to absolutely everyone you invite, it has to be broad in its content so that everyone gets it."
Not that Zynga's success has come without criticism.
With hundreds of smaller companies vying for a piece of the social gaming market, some rivals have accused Zynga of using its hefty venture capital to crowd out less-financed competitors.
Many of its most popular games, including FarmVille, are similar to pre-existing games from smaller companies, a fact Pincus dismisses by noting that video games have always fallen into genres with similar titles from competing companies.
Psycho Monkey LLC, the makers of Mob Wars, filed a lawsuit claiming that Mafia Wars ripped them off. Zynga settled that case in August, said a spokeswoman for the company.
Zynga also was hit with complaints and lawsuits over its original business model, which let players earn in-game rewards for things like signing up for a credit card or video-rental membership.
Critics said some of the offers amounted to scams, leading players to download unwanted software or unwittingly sign up for memberships that appeared stealthily on their phone bills.
Pincus has acknowledged not being vigilant enough with the automated ads that appeared on Zynga games during the company's early days.
"We were playing whack-a-mole," Pincus said. "Every time we found one of these or got a complaint, we would take them down. Eventually ... we realized we had to take a much more aggressive stance than a normal Web site."
In November, Zynga removed all "lead-generating" ads, relying for revenue instead on the roughly 1 to 3 percent of the player base that pays for in-game items, such as a barn in FarmVille. It has since been putting the advertisements back in, with a new system that lets it more closely monitor what kind of ads show up, Pincus said.
"We'll see where this goes for the entire industry," Pincus said. "It was really important to us to maintain a trusted position with our users. We wanted to do the right thing, and I think we did."
Pincus offers a ray of hope for another vocal group of critics: the social-media users who say they're tired of seeing all of their friends' updates about Zynga and other social games.
On Facebook, a group called "I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!" had more than 5.2 million members recently.
"Please. No more of this stuff," wrote one member. "I've had all I can take. About to hang up FACEBOOK. Just want a nice cozy place to talk with my friends!"
Pincus said he hopes that messages from games can eventually be targeted to a more select audience.
"We have to evolve," Pincus said "I think it's heading to a place that's more narrow-casting. I think you'll get to a place where Facebook will be better about showing feeds to people who have a registered interest in them."
For example, he said, there might eventually be a way to send game notifications only to people who play social games themselves.
"It's not just games. It's going to be true for music, for pictures, for status updates," Pincus said. "I think, over time, these networks are going to start to shape more to ... your [registered interests]."
Meanwhile, Zynga will be among the developers continuing to change how people look at video gaming. It's a change that Steinberg, the gaming guru, says will be for the better.
While heavyweights like Electronic Arts and the popular Civilization series are making inroads into social gaming, Steinberg said, the genre is also opening up opportunities for smaller developers.
"We're seeing, in many ways, a second renaissance for games," Steinberg said.
"There's been an epiphany among the developer community saying, 'Look at these millions of users that we've forgotten to speak to for years.' This can only be a good thing for the gaming industry in the end."
Old MacDonald was busy at WORK (ya know, on an actual farm), and never would have had time for something so ridiculous.
____________________________________________________
The Facebook games that millions love (and hate)
By Doug Gross, CNN
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Zynga games like FarmVille, Mafia Wars are played by millions every day on Facebook
Expert says social gaming succeeds by appealing to women, other non-traditional gamers
Zynga founder says key to success was games that can be played during conference call
Backlash leads to FB group of 5 million saying they're tired of seeing games
(CNN) -- Early each morning, millions of farmers around the world rise to toil in their fields. By night, gangs of mobsters scheme and legions of poker players shuffle up and deal.
Sure, none of it's real. But the overwhelming popularity of so-called social gaming -- simple games that let people play with their friends on networking sites such as Facebook -- is changing the face of video games, experts say.
And as the maker of popular titles like FarmVille and Mafia Wars, San Francisco, California-based Zynga has ridden the games' skyrocketing popularity to the top of that emerging market.
For Zynga founder Mark Pincus, the formula for gaming success on Facebook, MySpace and other sites was as simple as it might seem counterintuitive: create simple games that people like but can easily set aside.
"We built the games so they could be played in a tab on your browser while you're on a conference call," said Pincus, a veteran Web entrepreneur who created Zynga in 2007.
Of course, they've been helped by the massive growth of Facebook, where the games are so popular they've spawned "fan" pages devoted to complaining about having to watch friends play them.
Facebook, with its 400 million users, is where the vast majority of people play FarmVille and Mafia Wars along with other Zynga titles like FishVille, Vampires, Café World, YoVille and Zynga Poker.
In all, more than 65 million people play Zynga games every day, according to media tracking company Developer Analytics.
Zynga's top title, FarmVille, is played by an estimated 75 million people each month -- roughly equal to the number who have played the classic arcade and desktop game Tetris during its entire existence.
The massive growth was satisfying but not altogether surprising to Pincus, whose previous startups had included Freeloader, a Web-based information-gathering service; tech-support company SupportSoft; and Tribe.net, an early social networking site from 2003.
He said that starting the game company, which he named after his late English bulldog, was an effort to fill what he considered a surprising void in most people's daily Internet use.
"I thought in 2007 that something had gone oddly wrong with the whole Internet experience," Pincus said. "I would have thought games would have been one of the top two or three experiences people had on the Internet."
What Pincus got right, according to gaming expert Scott Steinberg, was a sort of return to the "golden era" of games like Pac-man and Super Mario Bros.
"Video games actually appealed to a huge cross-section. They appealed to everybody," said Steinberg, publisher of DigitalTrends.com. "What happened is, as we went through the mid-'80s to the mid-2000s, you started to see gaming become more incestuous in terms of 18- to 34-year-old males making games for people just like them."
By contrast, three of Zynga's top five games -- FarmVille, Café World and FishVille -- have mostly female players, with many players outside the traditional 18- to 34-year-old range.
Those games all operate on the same basic premise. Starting with a simple farm, fish tank or restaurant, the player works to make it bigger and fancier, sharing items with friends and helping each other along the way.
Some of Zynga's early titles simply mirrored existing board and card games. It was Mafia Wars -- in which players team up to whack other gangs-- that first exhibited what would become the hallmarks of social gaming: simple, single-player action that's enhanced by teamwork.
With FarmVille, that formula would become complete.
Players plant virtual crops that can be harvested hours, or days, later. Along the way, they invite online friends to become their neighbors and help each other by sending gifts or helping with the farming.There's no way to "win," but players take satisfaction in building big, fancy farms that they can showcase to their friends.
"A farm is something that is internationally understood and known. It's cross-cultural, cross-gender, cross-age," Pincus said. "A great social game should be like a great cocktail party. If you want it to appeal to absolutely everyone you invite, it has to be broad in its content so that everyone gets it."
Not that Zynga's success has come without criticism.
With hundreds of smaller companies vying for a piece of the social gaming market, some rivals have accused Zynga of using its hefty venture capital to crowd out less-financed competitors.
Many of its most popular games, including FarmVille, are similar to pre-existing games from smaller companies, a fact Pincus dismisses by noting that video games have always fallen into genres with similar titles from competing companies.
Psycho Monkey LLC, the makers of Mob Wars, filed a lawsuit claiming that Mafia Wars ripped them off. Zynga settled that case in August, said a spokeswoman for the company.
Zynga also was hit with complaints and lawsuits over its original business model, which let players earn in-game rewards for things like signing up for a credit card or video-rental membership.
Critics said some of the offers amounted to scams, leading players to download unwanted software or unwittingly sign up for memberships that appeared stealthily on their phone bills.
Pincus has acknowledged not being vigilant enough with the automated ads that appeared on Zynga games during the company's early days.
"We were playing whack-a-mole," Pincus said. "Every time we found one of these or got a complaint, we would take them down. Eventually ... we realized we had to take a much more aggressive stance than a normal Web site."
In November, Zynga removed all "lead-generating" ads, relying for revenue instead on the roughly 1 to 3 percent of the player base that pays for in-game items, such as a barn in FarmVille. It has since been putting the advertisements back in, with a new system that lets it more closely monitor what kind of ads show up, Pincus said.
"We'll see where this goes for the entire industry," Pincus said. "It was really important to us to maintain a trusted position with our users. We wanted to do the right thing, and I think we did."
Pincus offers a ray of hope for another vocal group of critics: the social-media users who say they're tired of seeing all of their friends' updates about Zynga and other social games.
On Facebook, a group called "I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!" had more than 5.2 million members recently.
"Please. No more of this stuff," wrote one member. "I've had all I can take. About to hang up FACEBOOK. Just want a nice cozy place to talk with my friends!"
Pincus said he hopes that messages from games can eventually be targeted to a more select audience.
"We have to evolve," Pincus said "I think it's heading to a place that's more narrow-casting. I think you'll get to a place where Facebook will be better about showing feeds to people who have a registered interest in them."
For example, he said, there might eventually be a way to send game notifications only to people who play social games themselves.
"It's not just games. It's going to be true for music, for pictures, for status updates," Pincus said. "I think, over time, these networks are going to start to shape more to ... your [registered interests]."
Meanwhile, Zynga will be among the developers continuing to change how people look at video gaming. It's a change that Steinberg, the gaming guru, says will be for the better.
While heavyweights like Electronic Arts and the popular Civilization series are making inroads into social gaming, Steinberg said, the genre is also opening up opportunities for smaller developers.
"We're seeing, in many ways, a second renaissance for games," Steinberg said.
"There's been an epiphany among the developer community saying, 'Look at these millions of users that we've forgotten to speak to for years.' This can only be a good thing for the gaming industry in the end."
Monday, February 15, 2010
I Can Shout It!
Okay, so I've been holding something back for almost two months now.
One of my most beloved and dearest friends, Julie, is also impregnanted. YAY! Let me tell you how awesome it is to have a good friend along for the ride.
She unfortunately got the pukey part of morning sickness (BTW, what MAN came up with the term, morning sickness? Seriously, it's 24/7), and I got the headaches. I can't wait for her to get to the "better" part that I have reached (or so I am told). She's due Sept 6- which is my husband's birthday. I'm ever so oddly scheduled to go just about on her birthday. See, strange how things work out!
She and I conqured my first triathlon together (Where we met, what love love love), our first "long" bike ride (it was about 12 miles, and we had to stop at mile 5ish because I thought I was going to die), first half ironman, her first marathon, our first Ironman, and my first open marathon together. I'm so excited we get to share this part too. That means, we can run with baby bobble heads together in an Ironman branded running stroller (duh, of course they make those).
So excited. Congrats, Julie and Dan! Love you!
One of my most beloved and dearest friends, Julie, is also impregnanted. YAY! Let me tell you how awesome it is to have a good friend along for the ride.
She unfortunately got the pukey part of morning sickness (BTW, what MAN came up with the term, morning sickness? Seriously, it's 24/7), and I got the headaches. I can't wait for her to get to the "better" part that I have reached (or so I am told). She's due Sept 6- which is my husband's birthday. I'm ever so oddly scheduled to go just about on her birthday. See, strange how things work out!
She and I conqured my first triathlon together (Where we met, what love love love), our first "long" bike ride (it was about 12 miles, and we had to stop at mile 5ish because I thought I was going to die), first half ironman, her first marathon, our first Ironman, and my first open marathon together. I'm so excited we get to share this part too. That means, we can run with baby bobble heads together in an Ironman branded running stroller (duh, of course they make those).
So excited. Congrats, Julie and Dan! Love you!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Night Terror
The young man pointed at me, shouting "She's wearing a pink shirt! She's a pink shirt!" I ducked underwater and removed my top, putting the salmon colored cloth under the dock upon which the rat stood. "There!" I said, and pointed down at my.. pink shirt. How the hell did I still have one on? I didn't understand. About then, my husband scooped me up and put me back the kayak we had moored at the dock. We were but one of thousands, if not more, kayaks and row boats hiding under the dock, Bimini tops unfolded, trying to conceal our identities. The Nazi like military that hovered over us in their helicopters scanned our group of frightened refugees. The boat next to us inched out from under the safety of the dock's over hang. It was then I realized this was no ordinary boat. This boat was equipped with machine guns and artillery that would have made a 1940's gangster shiver. I heard myself shriek when the man squeezed the trigger aiming at the hovering helicopters above us. They then returned fire.
My eyes snapped open at the sound of my husband's voice, calling to me from the shower asking about a fresh towel. It took me a minute to adjust, and to realize I wasn't under attack from a Nazi regime, and that, in fact, I was cozied up in my sheets on an overstuffed mattress. It's nightmares like these that I keep having. Every night, something else. Before transitioning to the ocean standoff, I was digging bodies out of my back yard.
A few nights ago, I didn't have a head, and had to carry around my eyes in my hands to see.
Weird.
Par for the course, apparently. Studies have shown that pregnant women are more likely to have vivid dreams, often nightmares, brought on by the surge of hormones. What strikes me is how realistic these dreams are.
Twenty minutes after waking, I was in my laundry room ironing Husband's shirts. He had been calling my name repeatedly, but I never recognized it. Instead, I was lost in comparing my dream to the story line of Inglorious Bastards (One hell of a good movie, might I add). I finished my ironing, and came out of the room. As I turned to close the door behind me, Husband came down the stairs to make sure I was indeed still alive, as I hadn't responded once. He hit the bottom of the stairs as I was turning to make my way thru the room.
He looked at me. I looked at him. There was a pause. His expression was confused, but I know it only mirrored mine. Then I heard shrieking. Blood curdling screaming. It was me! WHY!? I jumped back and stopped. He looked even more confused. Then laughed. I laughed. I cried. I cried harder. He didn't understand why. Why did I scream? Why did I laugh? Why did I cry? The only thing I knew for certain is I was crying because I had piss running down the insides of my legs. Seriously. Husband coming to check on my safety scared the piss out of me.
So here's what I know: I have awful scary dreams that I try to rationalize while preforming household chores. Still lost in thought over scary dreams, Husband comes to check on me. I see him and scream. I start laughing. I am laughing over the ridiculousness of my screaming. I am crying. I am crying because I have pee streaming down my legs.
I have 22 weeks left of this!
My eyes snapped open at the sound of my husband's voice, calling to me from the shower asking about a fresh towel. It took me a minute to adjust, and to realize I wasn't under attack from a Nazi regime, and that, in fact, I was cozied up in my sheets on an overstuffed mattress. It's nightmares like these that I keep having. Every night, something else. Before transitioning to the ocean standoff, I was digging bodies out of my back yard.
A few nights ago, I didn't have a head, and had to carry around my eyes in my hands to see.
Weird.
Par for the course, apparently. Studies have shown that pregnant women are more likely to have vivid dreams, often nightmares, brought on by the surge of hormones. What strikes me is how realistic these dreams are.
Twenty minutes after waking, I was in my laundry room ironing Husband's shirts. He had been calling my name repeatedly, but I never recognized it. Instead, I was lost in comparing my dream to the story line of Inglorious Bastards (One hell of a good movie, might I add). I finished my ironing, and came out of the room. As I turned to close the door behind me, Husband came down the stairs to make sure I was indeed still alive, as I hadn't responded once. He hit the bottom of the stairs as I was turning to make my way thru the room.
He looked at me. I looked at him. There was a pause. His expression was confused, but I know it only mirrored mine. Then I heard shrieking. Blood curdling screaming. It was me! WHY!? I jumped back and stopped. He looked even more confused. Then laughed. I laughed. I cried. I cried harder. He didn't understand why. Why did I scream? Why did I laugh? Why did I cry? The only thing I knew for certain is I was crying because I had piss running down the insides of my legs. Seriously. Husband coming to check on my safety scared the piss out of me.
So here's what I know: I have awful scary dreams that I try to rationalize while preforming household chores. Still lost in thought over scary dreams, Husband comes to check on me. I see him and scream. I start laughing. I am laughing over the ridiculousness of my screaming. I am crying. I am crying because I have pee streaming down my legs.
I have 22 weeks left of this!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Thursday Open Letter
Dear Groundhog,
I hate you. You may be cute, true. You might be fuzzy, yes. However, if you come out of that effing hole and see your shadow EVER again, I will club you like Canadians going after baby seals. I am growing weary of this weather. I don't fit in my slacks, and they are uncomfortable at best, anyway. I am ready to wear skirts in brightly colored floral prints made of cotton. I am up for smothering SPF 40 all over my face and arms so that I may sit outside and guard my spray ground. I want to wear over sized sunglasses, and flip flops again.
Please, Mr. Groundhog, please. I want to have a reason to shave my legs again.
I would like to see a freckle or six on my shoulder. I want my hair to naturally lighten. I will gladly trade in my yoga pants and over sized hoody for a two piece lifeguard suit again. Buddha Belly and all.
I have lost faith in our weathermen. Can they not change the weather as the go? You, Mr. Groundhog, the see-er of all things meteorological, can you not have some influence? Might you possibly come up and say "Nope, no shadow!?"
Because, my dear friend, if we cannot reach a better solution to this wintry weather blues, I may be forced to find a recipe for groundhog loaf (Which I have found similar here and here). And you, particularly you, Punxsutawney Phil, are quite plump. I'm sure you would make an excellent stew.
Now, do not take vengeance in my threats (PROMISES). I will not be happy waddling around 30 some weeks impregnated in July. Do not give 115* temperatures, because, that too, I will blame on you. And then, sir, it will be much easier to bring broth to a boil.
I feel you may think that even if you are gone, your cronies, the local weathermen, will continue on. I have my own plans for them as well. I would like to mention that if I see another forecast such as this any time before December, Tony Soprano will look like a saviour.
With much love,Corky S.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Fashion Clean Out and Clean Up
I'm not sure whose song I prefer: Fashion, David Bowie style ("We are the goon squad and we're coming to town!"), or Fashion, Lady GaGa version ("I need some new stilettos, can't walk down the street in those!").
Doesn't matter though. I do love me some fashion. Not that I show it. I don't have the cash to spend on the designer labels, or rather I'd prefer to spend it on sporting goods, cars, and home accessories (and a OB/GYN labor and delivery bill).
Well, tonight is the night where I preform my semi-annual closet clean out. I do this about once every year to two years. Usually it's tossing ratty pieces or things I don't love anymore. Often times I hang on to t-shirts and jeans that I really don't wear but think I might again. Since I have a higher purpose of this clean out- to rid the spare room (AKA my giant walk in closet) of all things (seriously, this will be the baby's room so I have to get EVERYTHING gone), I am doing what I am considering a Holistic Cleanse.
Cleanses are usually done with foods or supplements to rid your system of toxins and waste. Well, this closet and dresser seriously need some ex-lax to get things going.
I will pair down a rather large closet filled to the brim of items that are poorly placed and rarely worn, and a huge dresser filled with size 30-32 men's board shorts (OMG, I used to wear those!?) and race t-shirts to the bare necessities.
I am using Tim Gunn's 10 Essential Elements to lay the base of my wardrobe, well, what's left of it. This will pretty much outline my work and dress clothing. I'll keep the majority of my workout clothes, and the 2 pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans I like the best.
As for the rest, we'll, that shit's gotta go. I'm going to need to do some shopping, which my husband so graciously agreed to do with me. I need to buy one nice pair of preggo jeans and a pair of work slacks. I can make do with a couple pairs of yoga pants and a top or two. I truly LOVE spring and summer dresses, especially long flowing ones, so I can pick up a couple that I can sport now and post baby belly.
I really won't have much left for when I get back to a normal size (which better be by November), so I will need to purchase items that fit as I go. Really, I have a lot of clothes that were great when I bought them... two or three years ago, and now I need to toss them, knocked up or not.
What I will NOT be doing, however, is spending $165.00 on maternity cut off jean shorts. Seriously? WTF?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
If I Were a Rich Girl
If I Were a Rich Girl, where would I live? I had some time to kill this afternoon, and decided to browse listings of homes in the Kansas City metro area, and out toward my home in Eastern Jackson County.
Here's my parameters: Must be $1,000,000 or more. I have to have ran or rode past it (or on lakefront properties swam by it), and be able to recognize the home as one I have seen on such trainings. Finally, it must currently be on the market (ya know, in case I happen to be the only survivor to a distant realitive somewhere that is a prince or something... and like tomorrow).
If you click on the price of each home, you'll find a link to the realtor's site.
What I found:
Price: $1,075,000 WHY? Heeelllllo Old Money
5011 Sunset Drive Kansas City, MO 64112 Subdivision: Sunset Hill County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 4 Full/2 Half
Square Feet: 4,590
One of Kansas City's most prestigious houses, designed by Mary Rockwell Hook. Fashioned in the Italian Villa Revival style, the house is located in a secluded cul-de-sac, shared by two other Hook houses, and is just a few hundred yards above the Plaza and down from Loose Park. An unusually solid stone house, in remarkable condition for its age.
_______________________________
Price: $2,499,000 WHY? Has a LAP pool.
5100 Sunset Dr Kansas City, MO 64112 Subdivision: Sunset Hill County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 3 Full/2 Half
Spectacularly renovated in 2002, this multi-level contemporary has highest level of finishes found in KC: African lacewood panelling and built-ins, mahogany and honed marble flooring, granite/marble counters, etc...the list goes on and on. Main floor master w/ amazing master bath and closets.
_______________________________
Price: $1,675,000 WHY? Because my husband dreams to live in a log home, and this is the only I have found that I would truly like to live in.
1515 NE Lake Shore Drive Lee's Summit, MO 64086 Subdivision: Ritter Sub County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 3 Full
Square Feet: 5,600 (approx)
"GREEN BUILDER" Design Award 2009*Colorado Logs*Absolutely gorgeous home with breathtaking water frontage*Extremely well built high efficiency, comfort & beauty. Enjoy all the benefits of Lake Living without that 3 hour drive. Amenities everywhere. Heated floors, dumb waiter Kit to Garage, extensive insulation, extensive details provided in docs.
_________________________________
Price: $2,595,000 WHY? The outdoor entertaining area.
10 K lake shore Drive Lake Lotawana, MO 64086 Subdivision: Lake Lotawana County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 5 Full/1 Half
A rare opportunity high on a hilltop overlooking Lake Lotawana w/170 ft of shore line, space for 5 docks + 2 boat lifts on deep water location of main channel. Incredibly designed home includes granite & stainless kit, vaulted + beamed ceilings w/4 stone firepls, Grt room of pine logs w/frpl+wetbar,fam rm w/birch bark wall cov. All new marble.
_________________________________
Price: $2,500,000 WHY? This is only half a mile from my current home, and there's 9 toilets. Nine!
2505 Sw 19th Street, Blue Springs MO 64015
4 br,5 ba,4-½ ba
AMAZING EXECUTIVE ESTATE ON APPROX 6+ BEAUTIFUL PARK-LIKE ACRES BACKING CORP OF ENGINEER'S PROPERTY. THIS ONE OF A KIND MANSION HAS 4 BRS,7 FIREPLACES,5 FULL & 4 HALF BATHS,TROPHY ROOM COULD CONVERT TO INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT, 2ND FULL KITCHEN ON LOWER LEVEL, HOME THEATRE RM, REC RM, FINISHED ROOM UNDER 3 CAR GARAGE, INGROUND POOL W/HOT TUB, LAKE
Here's my parameters: Must be $1,000,000 or more. I have to have ran or rode past it (or on lakefront properties swam by it), and be able to recognize the home as one I have seen on such trainings. Finally, it must currently be on the market (ya know, in case I happen to be the only survivor to a distant realitive somewhere that is a prince or something... and like tomorrow).
If you click on the price of each home, you'll find a link to the realtor's site.
What I found:
Price: $1,075,000 WHY? Heeelllllo Old Money
5011 Sunset Drive Kansas City, MO 64112 Subdivision: Sunset Hill County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 4 Full/2 Half
Square Feet: 4,590
One of Kansas City's most prestigious houses, designed by Mary Rockwell Hook. Fashioned in the Italian Villa Revival style, the house is located in a secluded cul-de-sac, shared by two other Hook houses, and is just a few hundred yards above the Plaza and down from Loose Park. An unusually solid stone house, in remarkable condition for its age.
_______________________________
Price: $2,499,000 WHY? Has a LAP pool.
5100 Sunset Dr Kansas City, MO 64112 Subdivision: Sunset Hill County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 3 Full/2 Half
Spectacularly renovated in 2002, this multi-level contemporary has highest level of finishes found in KC: African lacewood panelling and built-ins, mahogany and honed marble flooring, granite/marble counters, etc...the list goes on and on. Main floor master w/ amazing master bath and closets.
_______________________________
Price: $1,675,000 WHY? Because my husband dreams to live in a log home, and this is the only I have found that I would truly like to live in.
1515 NE Lake Shore Drive Lee's Summit, MO 64086 Subdivision: Ritter Sub County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 3 Full
Square Feet: 5,600 (approx)
"GREEN BUILDER" Design Award 2009*Colorado Logs*Absolutely gorgeous home with breathtaking water frontage*Extremely well built high efficiency, comfort & beauty. Enjoy all the benefits of Lake Living without that 3 hour drive. Amenities everywhere. Heated floors, dumb waiter Kit to Garage, extensive insulation, extensive details provided in docs.
_________________________________
Price: $2,595,000 WHY? The outdoor entertaining area.
10 K lake shore Drive Lake Lotawana, MO 64086 Subdivision: Lake Lotawana County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 5 Full/1 Half
A rare opportunity high on a hilltop overlooking Lake Lotawana w/170 ft of shore line, space for 5 docks + 2 boat lifts on deep water location of main channel. Incredibly designed home includes granite & stainless kit, vaulted + beamed ceilings w/4 stone firepls, Grt room of pine logs w/frpl+wetbar,fam rm w/birch bark wall cov. All new marble.
_________________________________
Price: $2,500,000 WHY? This is only half a mile from my current home, and there's 9 toilets. Nine!
2505 Sw 19th Street, Blue Springs MO 64015
4 br,5 ba,4-½ ba
AMAZING EXECUTIVE ESTATE ON APPROX 6+ BEAUTIFUL PARK-LIKE ACRES BACKING CORP OF ENGINEER'S PROPERTY. THIS ONE OF A KIND MANSION HAS 4 BRS,7 FIREPLACES,5 FULL & 4 HALF BATHS,TROPHY ROOM COULD CONVERT TO INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT, 2ND FULL KITCHEN ON LOWER LEVEL, HOME THEATRE RM, REC RM, FINISHED ROOM UNDER 3 CAR GARAGE, INGROUND POOL W/HOT TUB, LAKE
What's All This Training For?
Really, I'm training for something, or the cause is lost. Why else do I swim, bike and run? What fun is there, if it's not a competition?
No, I'm not looking for an age group win, or a faster split. However, if all I'm doing is "working on fitness" there's nothing to focus on. I need a tangible goal. A race date. In this case, a delivery date, but it's all the same.
I missed both Tuesday and Thursday of KMA last week. Work and out of town visitors kind of got in the way. However, I did make my runs and swims.
Since I actually did sign up for a race , I have devised a training plan to keep me moving. Mostly very short runs of 2-4 miles, and a few "builds" of 5-6. I mean, it's a 10k.
Yesterday morning started out with a little 2 mile run on the treadmill, strike that, DREADmill. I despise this thing. But, my long winter run tights are now a smidge (okay, WAY) too small and I really don't want to run in sub freezing temps. It was supposed to be a 2.5 mile run, but considering I always get the wobbly treadmill (Damn you, #9!) I gave up and got off. I always feel like I have to work so much harder to run on treadmill. Maybe it's focus, but it never feels relaxing.
After I got pissed enough to quit the black conveyor belt of death, I headed to the pool. My usual swim partner Benny wasnt around (I swim with a 13 year old kid, seriously.), so I just put in some time on my own. I wore my HR monitor in the water for the first time this season, or whatever you want to call it, and was sorely disappointed with the results. I usually warm up with 10 x 100's on the 1:30. Easy swim and about 10 seconds rest. Mix in some backstroke. Well, after the first three easy 100's touch about the 1:18-1:20, I looked at my watch. My eyes probably bulged out of my head. 156!? One. Fifty. Six!? No effing way. I'm swimming easy. I could carry on a conversation with lane mates if needed. What the Fvck, Chuck? So, I back down a bit. The next three were 1:20, 1:21, 1:23. Check the watch. One-Five-Oh heeellll no.
Remember this little piece of advise from the doc? "Stay under 145." Looky here, it wasn't easy for me to do while on the dreadmill, but at a whopping pace of 12:35 I could keept my HR at 143. On the bike, I spin easy. Very easy. But I can still modify where I need to. Now, I'm in the water. MY place. Where things come very very easily. I'm practically in a LAYING posistion. How the hell is my HR creeping like that? Whatever. Of course, when I get mad, I want to swim harder. Faster. Pull stronger. Not the answer. I gave up on my warm up, and went into what would be the pussiest main set ever.
Pull a 500. Look at hr about every fifth flip turn. See HR around 150. Get pissed.
5 x 100 IM. Give up on 3rd one because breastroke makes me tired.
Sit on side of pool deck with belly looking up laughing at me.
Roll eyes.
Exit pool.
Remind myself what I'm training for.
For a the best damn delivery the OB/GYN has ever seen, duh. And the healthiest baby. And fastest postpartum weight loss.
And to get my ass back.
No, I'm not looking for an age group win, or a faster split. However, if all I'm doing is "working on fitness" there's nothing to focus on. I need a tangible goal. A race date. In this case, a delivery date, but it's all the same.
I missed both Tuesday and Thursday of KMA last week. Work and out of town visitors kind of got in the way. However, I did make my runs and swims.
Since I actually did sign up for a race , I have devised a training plan to keep me moving. Mostly very short runs of 2-4 miles, and a few "builds" of 5-6. I mean, it's a 10k.
Yesterday morning started out with a little 2 mile run on the treadmill, strike that, DREADmill. I despise this thing. But, my long winter run tights are now a smidge (okay, WAY) too small and I really don't want to run in sub freezing temps. It was supposed to be a 2.5 mile run, but considering I always get the wobbly treadmill (Damn you, #9!) I gave up and got off. I always feel like I have to work so much harder to run on treadmill. Maybe it's focus, but it never feels relaxing.
After I got pissed enough to quit the black conveyor belt of death, I headed to the pool. My usual swim partner Benny wasnt around (I swim with a 13 year old kid, seriously.), so I just put in some time on my own. I wore my HR monitor in the water for the first time this season, or whatever you want to call it, and was sorely disappointed with the results. I usually warm up with 10 x 100's on the 1:30. Easy swim and about 10 seconds rest. Mix in some backstroke. Well, after the first three easy 100's touch about the 1:18-1:20, I looked at my watch. My eyes probably bulged out of my head. 156!? One. Fifty. Six!? No effing way. I'm swimming easy. I could carry on a conversation with lane mates if needed. What the Fvck, Chuck? So, I back down a bit. The next three were 1:20, 1:21, 1:23. Check the watch. One-Five-Oh heeellll no.
Remember this little piece of advise from the doc? "Stay under 145." Looky here, it wasn't easy for me to do while on the dreadmill, but at a whopping pace of 12:35 I could keept my HR at 143. On the bike, I spin easy. Very easy. But I can still modify where I need to. Now, I'm in the water. MY place. Where things come very very easily. I'm practically in a LAYING posistion. How the hell is my HR creeping like that? Whatever. Of course, when I get mad, I want to swim harder. Faster. Pull stronger. Not the answer. I gave up on my warm up, and went into what would be the pussiest main set ever.
Pull a 500. Look at hr about every fifth flip turn. See HR around 150. Get pissed.
5 x 100 IM. Give up on 3rd one because breastroke makes me tired.
Sit on side of pool deck with belly looking up laughing at me.
Roll eyes.
Exit pool.
Remind myself what I'm training for.
For a the best damn delivery the OB/GYN has ever seen, duh. And the healthiest baby. And fastest postpartum weight loss.
And to get my ass back.
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