Give Thanks

Ten things I'm so very grateful for.

1. My Son. I'm blessed that I was able to get pregnant without really having to "try." Some women try and never can concive, or do and lose the pregnancies. Thank God, we didn't have to endure this. He's the most amazing, wonderful, awesome thing that I will ever do in my life.

2. My Husband. We made TEN YEARS this year. It's gone by quickly. I'm looking forward to many many more.

3. The Rest of My Family and Friends. I have such a huge extended family when you include our friends. We are so blessed to have many people we're close to.

4. My Job. There's so many Americans right now struggling to make ends meet. While we aren't rolling in it (hardly with the new expense of daycare), we're still able to tuck away a little into savings every two weeks. My husband works extremely hard to provide for our family, and we have been able to take that hard work and make it a beautiful home, a new pick up and car, and really want for nothing, within reason. I'm not bragging, I'm counting blessings.

5. My Health. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. I'm fit and strong and becoming more so with every day. I want to live a long time, and taking care of myself will help me get there.

6. See Number 5 (Cars, House, Plasma Screen TVs). We want for nothing. Praise be to God.

7. My Trainer, Angela.  Without her and my new workout buddy (and competition!), Cheryl, I wouldn't have the slightest idea what I'm doing in the figure arena.

8. My Mother Visiting.  To say the least, my mother hasn't been in fabulous health over the last couple years.  She came in September and her grandson got to meet her, and she was doing great. I pray it's not the only time.

9. My Staff and Coworkers.  The structure at my work is changing and a lot of people are leaving or being shut out. I can't say I entirely agree, although I know the direction we're headed in is the right one. I'm Thankful for the people that I work with and those that work for me.

10. Everything. Every night when I go to sleep, I try to thank God for each of the blessings my family has. I never get all the way thru, but in case God reads triathlon blogs,

                                                                Thank You.

Belated Photo Friday

Photo Sunday??

My love.

Ironman Access: Cancelled and Thoughts

WTC is ingenious. Hey, let's pre-charge $1000 to give someone a chance at something, that really isn't all that amazing... and people will actually pay it!? 

I've been reading about this for a few days now, and between SlowTwitch.com, Liz's All Access (which was hilarious), and a few others, I've found something I think is spot on.

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/pace-of-chicago/2010/10/relax-its-just-the-ironman.html

...Worth 1000 Words. »


Relax! It's just the Ironman.

David Wallach on 10.29.10 at 12:06 AM

David Wallach

I am your typical BOPer. I love to train more than racing. If you have a race, let me know, I'm there!

Yesterday (Thursday) The World Triathlon Corporation announced the launch of the Ironman Access Program. In a nut shell the Ironman Access program gave people a week "head start," to sign up for an Ironman. The catch, it came at a cost of $1000 for a year membership and then $600 for the race entry.



If you have ever tried to sign up for an Ironman event, then you know it can be a test of patience, since most of their U.S. events sell out within 24 hours, this option did alleviate some of the stress of signing up, if you could afford it.



I received hundreds of e-mails from people who were upset and hurt. The Ironman Corporation took an immediate beating on the blogs, chat rooms and on Facebook. A lot of you out there, though this was unfair, that it took away from the "everyman feel of the sport," and was a greedy move by The World Triathlon Corporation.



The end result was a classy move by the WTC. In a video message delivered by a tired looking President Ben Fertig, they canceled the entire program and refunded the money to the athletes who jumped at the chance to get a head start on signing up for their dream at finishing an Ironman. Click here to see the video.



I think what the WTC was a great PR move, but believe it or not, I completely disagree with what they did. The thousands of you who lost your minds when this new program was announced blew a great opportunity to help the sport of triathlon grow. Hold on, before you start your "have you lost your friggin' mind e-mail," hear me out.



The Ironman is just a brand. What you did by running around like a bunch of whiny kids was put them in a bigger position of power. All of the calls, e-mails and blogs weren't making the people at the WTC mad but instead sending the message, " yes, we love you more than anything, we live for you, we love you Ironman, forget Rev3, forget Silverman, all we care about is your brand, please be nice to us. Congratulations you are a monopoly."



That's right, you blew it. Yesterday was a line in the sand, and instead of saying "enough, we refuse to cross this line," you all jumped over it like good lemmings. Instead of getting over the fact that Ironman is just a brand name, and there are dozens of other 140.6 races out there that offer more difficult courses, easier sign ups and better athlete experience, you collectively dropped your pants and took it in the back side. This was the chance to support other races. This was your chance to help triathlon grow, to realize that it's not about the brand name, but the accomplishment. You thumbed your noses at the other race directors and let them know, "you are an after thought Rev3 or Silverman, a cute diversion after we do the Ironman."



The Ironman Corporation is a business, make no mistake about that. They are in the business of making money and growing their brand, just like Coke, Disney and Jay Z. The difference between The Ironman and Coke, is that The Ironman is a lifestyle brand, it effects all of us at such a deep level, that it becomes personal, we are invested in it, it can change your entire life. Coke, you drink it, you burp, it quenches your thirst, the experience is over. As a lifestyle brand when they make a change that seems unfair or greedy, it hurts, you feel betrayed and "left out in the cold," as a lot of you have stated. It's understandable, but at the same token, get over it.





This is not an "everyman sport," as one of you said in an e-mail. This is a rich guy, type A intense sport. The average salary of an Ironman is $150,000 plus. Now there are a lot of you out there(including me) who make much less than that, but this is not "everyman or woman's sport," that would be Social Club Volleyball. If you cross the finish line at an Ironman event you are part of the fittest 1% people in the world. 1% out of 6,697,254,041 people in the world and the Ironman Corporation is trying to make a profit off of that tiny margin. Yes kids, they are a business.



This isn't new, bands have been doing it for years. Yes, membership to the Jonas Brothers Fan Club is only $34.99 and you get early access to pre-sale ticketing before the general public, but then have you have to pay hundreds for the tickets, t-shirts, parking etc. Eventually the t-shirt will fade, the music will be dated, the Jonas Brothers will end up in re-hab and the experience will be gone. With Ironman the memory lasts a lifetime, how much is that worth?



You didn't have to do this. It was an option, like the Community Slots and volunteers getting early entry. Some people spend a lot more than $1000 to travel to a race, rent a car, pay for a hotel and volunteer, so they get an early entry. Should we protest that as well? Should volunteers only be local folks who don't spend a ton to volunteer and cut to the front of the line?



I applaud the WTC for making a smart business move, listening to their customers and staying on top of their game. When the Ironman entries jump to $1000 per race, remember this day and your victory over "the man," you won the battle but lost the war.







Read more: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/pace-of-chicago/2010/10/relax-its-just-the-ironman.html#ixzz13lAtShoe

Yo Baby, How 'Bout Some Fries With Dat Shake?

I'm dragging this one over from Figure'n It Out because it's too good not to share.



Tuesday, October 12, 2010     Is That Sound Medical Advice?



I've been killing it with my workouts, and for the last week, have stuck very closely to Coach Lady's meal plans... but then I have this happen.






Le Bebe has been acting strange the last couple days, and I had grown concerned. I called the peditritrician, and was directed to one of the nurses. "I don't think I'm producing as much milk as normal, and I know my baby is trying to eat more," I tell the nurse. "Have you started an exercise routine or changed your diet in anyway?" Duh. "Yes, I'm still eating quite a few calories, but it's cleaner food, not any junk, and I have started working out at the same intensity as I was pregant, and before, just different activities." "I see," she begins, "you know, it takes nine months to put on the weight, so give yourself nine months to take it off."






Bitch, please.






Aside from those nagging couple L-B's, I had that 39lbs' ass whopped in a month. Didn't seem to hurt my milk production then!






"Yes, I know. I lost the weight in a few weeks. I'm actually starting to prepare for a fitness competition." (I say fitness, very few people know what fitness/ figure are, let alone there's a difference.) Ooooh. Oh? Oh. Oh! WTF does OH mean? "Well, that's going to be very hard to continue breastfeeding then." I didn't go into when contest prep starts, and that he'll be close to 6 months, my goal for BF'ing, but REALLY? Then she tells me, and this is verbatim:










"Go to McDonald's and get yourself a quarter pounder and a shake."






... chirp ... chirp...










"I'm serious."


So, nurse's diagnosis; I'm not getting enough fat in my diet. But really, McD's? Is that sound medical advise?


I skipped on the shake, sounds like a good cheat for tomorrow! Instead I opted for FOUR ounces of colby jack cheese and a jumbo dog tonight. Sounds fatty to me, yes?

Photo Phriday

I left him!
I left Squid to the care of the child watch attendants at the gym today. It was really really hard, but I did it! And, HE DID IT! Didnt cry til right before I came to pick him up. Yay!

Speaking of gym. WOW. What a lift session. I hurt. Bad. It's been since oh.... early 2009 since I lifted at all, and that was very sport specific, so it's totally different. I did three lifts today that I've never even attempted before: Deadlift, Romanian Deadlift, and Front Bar Squat.

There's more info at Figure'n It Out.

But on to today's topic:

Photo Phriday.

Well That Figures

I have a new blog dedicated solely to the figure journey. The Triathlete Bride will remain focused on life and triathlon (one in the same, right?).

Here's the link: Figure'n It Out

SWAGGER WAGON

I think the Toyota mini van commercials are pretty funny.. but, this makes me want to BUY one.

What Now?

Since the Squid is swinging peacefully away, I have two hands and am not covered in spit up, how about a little catching up? We're getting settled in comfortably with a routine, well some semblance of one. Although we do have one thing that's a new addition aside from the Squid, of course. A "for sale" sign. As in: Buy our home. Yeah, I know, good joke, eh? But, we're giving it a try. We've been browsing houses since this early spring. We should have tried to really sell then, but we didn't. Mostly my fault. So we're sitting in our fabulous home, but we have our eyes on two floor plans that will function a little better for our expanded family. If you want to buy a house, look in south Blue Springs, Mo.








Yesterday was a beautiful day. I packed up the Squid, put on the Garmin and went for a jog. Well, I didn't wear the right bra ("sport" Nursing bras are not even close to being sporty) so there was way more walking then I wanted to do. He still doesn't fit in the jogging stroller, so we're making the regular one work for now for our jogs. I didn't bother with the HRM strap, but believe me, the data was more for shits and grins than for recording.







I still have some "issues" so swimming is out for a bit, and cycling will still be uncomfortable for a while. Instead, I'm doing a little research. I'm looking forward to my next athletic challenge of Figure competitions. I'm trying to decide if Bikini might be the better class for me since it requires competitors to be a little softer, but if I am close, I'll sign up for Figure and add Bikini as a crossover class if it's allowed at the particular show I choose. Right now I'm looking through about three local shows between April and June of 2011.







It's a bit intimidating looking at the girls in competitions, but as I dig a little deeper, I am seeing posing practices of women months out from competition looking like, well... NORMAL woman. Definitely firm and fit, but it's nice to know that I'm not as far off base as I am feeling. Also, I've seen so much of the Pro women at comps like the Arnold Classic and Olympia that I thought these goals were really unrealistic. Then I realised I have to start somewhere and found these local ladies looking Uh-Maze-Ing (and attainable) practicing for a show, ya know, pre-spray tan and such:










PS



Number 6 (the Blonde second from right) is local Irongirl Gretchen Duncan!







This is pretty much where we're at right now. I'm enjoying the last month until I have to go back to work. I'm completely dreading it: I do NOT want Squid going to day care. We found a nice place and I'm sure it will be fine, but that's doesn't make me look forward to it.







I've got a LONG way to go to even get ready to get ready for Figure, but I'll get there (Stopping with the amount of ice cream I've enjoyed recently!)

Here we are, off on our journey. Momhood. Figure competitor!



Psst



I'm still doing triathlons, but it will just be sprints or olympics next year!

Hi. An Update.

Colic.

Colic effing sucks.

House for sale.

Someone come buy it.

Exhausted.

Need more sleep.

Couldn't be happier.

Eli: A Race, er, Birth Report

Cramps.  The, I have held my pregnant pee too long cramps. At least, that's what I thought it was.

Saturday, the 24th (Lil' Dude's official due date), I went to my pedicure lady. "Massage me." She agreed. It was time. There's this old wives' tale that having your feet massaged will bring on labor. I need a cut and polish anyway.

Husband and I had a relaxing afternoon. Went to bed at a decent time. At some point, that's when the cramps started.

By 5:30am, I had decided they weren't pee cramps.  Still laying in bed, snuggled together, we started timing them. Seven minutes. Six minutes. Five. They were consistent. And getting closer.  I said I wanted breakfast. Husband climbed in the shower.  I knew a trip to the Big Biscuit would never happen.  I made us a breakfast at home. One way or another, this would be our last Sunday breakfast as Eric and Courtney. We knew next Sunday we would be The Staton Family. Bittersweet.

I paged the on-call doctor.  I knew it was going to be Dr. Dickhead, the OB I switched from. My own doctor called me back instead. "Well, if there's a bit of bite to them, come on in. We'll check you out. Worse case, you'll come back tonight." My terrific Dr. Lady had switched on-calls with Dr. Dickhead. AWESOME.

We arrived at the hospital just past 9am. Husband walked in holding my hand. I told the nurse, as she hooked me to a monitor, that I wasn't sure if they were real contractions. There wasn't much in my abdomen area, but my back hurt like hell.  Her response: "Uh-oh."  That's not good.  She checked me for dilation and effacement. 2cm. Maybe 60%. Not numbers you want to hear when starting labor. I had made no progress from the previous week's OB appointment. After a quick scan over, she confirmed my back pain. Sunny side up. Straight OP. (differences here) Back Labor. Lil' Dude was kicking and squirming and giving no relief. Like a squid in my stomach.

I was told to walk. So I did. Husband and I walked the hallways. And walked. And walked. The contractions were getting stronger. And stronger.  I needed to sit. Then I was hit with the WHAMMY. Pain hard enough to make tears roll from my eyes, and vomit surface in my mouth. This is the real deal. After 90 minutes of waddling, and eventually needing to stop during contractions to focus only on breathing, I was checked again. Almost 4cm, 80%. Progress, but not much. Dr. Lady decision time: Well, you're coming back tonight anyway, so why make two trips? Let's get some active labor started. We were well past inducing, now, we were augmenting. Whatever. I just want my baby!

I was moved to a room where we would remain for our stay. The pain was getting tough. Dr. Lady broke my water. It was painless. I even asked "Would this hurt?" but she was already done. I was hooked to an IV tower, and told to walk some more.  I made it about 10 minutes. I was still on the no pain medication train. Barely. I agreed to Stadol. But I wanted to use the birthing ball and whirlpool tub first. I made it through one contraction on the birthing ball. Fuck the tub. Give me the narcotic.  It made me itchy. ITCH-EE. I was given Benadryl. The combination of Benadryl and Stadol made me sleepy. During this time, Eric called the fams. My dad and grandma came in. I mostly remember it. I was hurting like hell. My contractions were now double peaking, something that comes with back labor. I was "sleeping" between contractions, and waking right in the peak. So, I was out for about two minutes and yelling in pain for two minutes. Effing A. I remember saying something along the lines of This Fucking Sucks. Sorry grandma.

Get me the epidural.    NOW.

Eric held my hand.  Well, he held still while I tried not to break his bones. I recall during a Stadol coma contraction him telling me that there are pins in that hand, and he can feel them. Sorry honey. Let me take a second to say what an amazing, huge, terrific help Eric was. He never left my side. He held my hand through every contraction. Stayed right next to me. Perfect. They kept me turned half on my side hoping to get Squid to roll over. It didn't work, but they kept me in that position.

The epidural was painless. Not that I would have felt anything besides the explosion rocking my core. All was right with the world once I had my epidural. I still felt every contraction, but had full control over my legs and could feel the "urge to poop" coming on. I wasn't numbed entirely. Exactly what I hoped for. At 3pm, the time my epidural was administered I was at a 6, and almost 90% effaced. I took a nap.

At 4pm they came in to check me again. My nurse, an angel named Shannon, told me it was time. Dr. Lady agreed. You're at a 10, 100%. Let's have a baby. You're ready to push.

Whoa. Shock waves. Can't believe it. I'm about to have a baby!

The nursery nurses came in. There was a little meconium in the fluid, so they wanted to be sure they were ready in case the Squid needed to be intibated. That was a scary thought, but I figured the best I pushed, the less likely he would be to inhale any goo.

In my birthplan I had expressly said NO to a mirror. But once I was ready to go, I asked for one. I am SO glad I did. The first couple pushes are practice really.  The nurse asked if Eric could count for me. He did and did great. I did ask him to count slower. I wanted to push for as long as I could in every contraction. There wouldn't be any pushing for four hours BS here. Squid was ready. Husband did get up the guts to look in the mirror one time. It was maybe a bit much for him.

After 35 min. Shannon said STOP. STOP STOP! I panicked. I could see his head! The Dr. Lady was scurrying into her gear. I had to sit out two contractions. That was awful. I could see his hair (OMG! beautiful dark hair, just like my husband!). I reached down, I touched him. I bawled. I was moments away from mommy-hood. Gathering myself, I readied for the big transition. Here we go. I looked at Eric, he started counting.

One contraction.

Two contraction.

50 minutes of pushing. Here's your baby.

The emptying of your abdominal cavity is the craziest feeling ever. I immediately felt lighter, yet as if I would burst open. The nursery nurses looked him over. He inhaled no meconium. He was wailing. It was amazing.

Eric got to hold his hand while he got cleaned up. Then he was able to hold the Squid while the placenta delivered (no, we didn't keep it to eat it. Google that. No, don't) and my stitches were completed (2nd Degree. Not fun, but not horribly awful.).

I was then given my little bundle. Little is kind of a loose term.
Our Squid weighed in at 9lbs 1oz, and 21.5" long. The measuring tape only went to 21". The nurses had to extend the tape out to get him measured.

Ten perfect fingers (that look like Eric's).
Ten perfect toes.

I am in love.

Eviction Papers

Waiting for the dr at the 39 week appointment.

Yes, I really am this amazing looking.

Eric, waiting oh so paitiently.

37 weeks

Well, here we are.  Week 40.  The end-all be all of pregnancy. Unless you go long.  We're going long. Luckily, we're only going a few days. 

Today, Dr Lady informed us we're still measuring big, as in currently at 42weeks (I say we- that's me, Lil Squid Dude, and Husband Dearest), and that, despite all of our best efforts to dialte and efface, we got nothin'.  Dilation maybe at 2cm., and effacement is the Berlin wall. Effing A. Even that thing got taken down.

Then, she asked the magic words:

How do you feel about induction?

I didn't really have an answer.  I desperately want a thru-the-hoo-ha delivery, and prefer to go no drugs.  However, if the squid is growing at the rapidly expanding rate that he is, my little fatty will be too big to squeeze through these hips of mine.  Thus, induction is our best chance.  Inducing is scary though.  The rates of c-sections do increase.  But having a 9lb baby would also increase the odds of a tummy delivery.  We're gonna take our chances.  Dr Lady feels confident.  We'll go with that.

I have an eviction notice now issued for our Lil Squid. Papers to be served Sunday 8 PM. He can leave on his own anytime he wants.  However, Monday armed guards will be removing him from the premises.  My grandma swears Full Moon means baby deliveries. Look at what I found today:

Full Moon Phase:  2010 Jul 26 01:38 Mon

Either way, I'm gonna be a mom soon.

Weird.

Professional photos courtesy Monika Herbert at MONPhotography.com

All the Pregnant Ladies

Watch and enjoy.

23 Miles Straight Down

Either this guy is the biggest idiot ever (120,000 FEET!!!?? that's like, 23 MILES), or has the biggest balls on the face of the planet (or edge of outerspace). Here's a picture of the guy. Yes, he's kinda hot.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/skydiverplansrecordbreakingsupersonicspacejump/print

Skydiver Plans Record-Breaking Supersonic Space Jump



Zoe Macintosh





A skydiver is making progress with plans to leap from near the edge of space in a dive that would break world records and the sound barrier.






Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner is a step closer to attempting the feat after a series of recent high-altitude test jumps. He plans to make his ambitious jump attempt later this year.






Starting in the stratosphere at 120,000 feet above the ground, Baumgartner will leap from a capsule suspended by a helium balloon near the boundary of space.






Sponsored by the energy drink company Red Bull, Baumgartner's mission — called Red Bull Stratos — seeks to extend the "safety zone" of human atmospheric bailout last set in 1960 by diver Joe Kittinger. This limit defines the uppermost altitude a human being can safely jump from.






"Right now, the space shuttle escape system is certified to 100,000 feet," said the mission's medical director Jonathan Clark, a former NASA flight surgeon. "Why is that? Because Joe Kittinger went there. You've got a lot of companies that are vying for the role of being the commercial space transport provider for tourism, for upper atmospheric science, and so on. These systems, particularly during the test and development phase, need a potential escape system, which we may be able to help them provide with the knowledge we gain." [Graphic: Earth's Atmosphere From Top to Bottom]






Taking the leap






A team of aeronautics experts recently led Baumgartner through a week of testing meant to illuminate any possible weaknesses in his equipment and to familiarize him with the skills needed to navigate the conditions expected to assail him as soon as he opens his vessel door.






Only a few feet above ground in a capsule dangling from a crane on Sage Cheshire Aerospace test grounds in California, Baumgartner practiced exiting and stepping off his hot-air balloon. Even a slight stumble during this step could cause dangerous alterations in his in-flight position only moments later, as well as reduce his chances of actually breaking the sound barrier.






"The team anticipated that the capsule would tip forward when Felix moved his approximately 270-pound self from the seated center position of the capsule to the step-off platform on the edge of the capsule," Red Bull Stratos Aerial Strategist and Skydiving Consultant Luke Aikins told SPACE.com. "What the exercise demonstrated was that the capsule moved only about a foot, which tells us that we don't have to worry about the capsule swinging back violently when Felix steps off."






Baumgartner proceeded to practice his step-off technique from higher up by doing bungee jumps while wearing a pressurized spacesuit and helmet. At 200 feet above ground in an abandoned fairground, the setting was a far cry from a high-altitude jump, but mimicked the sensation of trying to achieve the necessary forward rotation, said mission technical director Art Thompson. After a few leaps, one team member described Baumgartner's performance as "perfect."






"We still have an unknown, which is what happens to my body when I break the speed of sound, but at least we're going to know that I'm able to handle the step-off," Baumgartner said.






Improved equipment






Lastly, the pilot passed several high altitude test dives at 26,000 feet over the desert in Perris, California. Thanks to a new chest pack aligned to one side of his body, Baumgartner exhibited a harmonious passage compared to previous trials a year earlier.






The previous chest pack had jammed his helmet, blocked his vision and constrained his movement during descent and the critical landing.






During the recent tests, body positions and suit deflation went well enough that the team accomplished all of its objectives.






Dive to death






No simple showman, Baumgartner wondered if the dangerous pioneering mission would mean his own death.






"My biggest concern is that dangerous part of the project which we just haven't thought of," Baumgartner said in a statement. "We try to think of every contingency, but there's always going to be something that you would never imagine could happen. And that might kill you."






The possibility has proved daunting enough to impact his decision to invite his own mother to watch the dive.






"If everything is successful, I would love to have her on site, because the first person that I would want to talk with is my mom, of course," he said. "But if something goes wrong, I definitely don't want my mum on site, because I don't want her to witness a fatality. So I still haven't made up my mind."






According to a press officer for Red Bull, the actual experiment will take place somewhere in North America in 2010. Along with a range of experts and test pilots, mentor and former record-setter Joe Kittinger will also be present.

 
So, homeboy's estimated freefall time will be just over 5 min, 30 seconds. I google's some pictures of Joe Kittinger's jumps, and well, it just looks like a bad idea.
 

Come Swim In My Meet!!!!!!

2nd Annual YMCA of Greater Kansas City


Masters Summer Sizzler

Vivion Road Family YMCA

Kansas City, Missouri

Saturday, July 17, 2010

HOSTED BY: Vivion Road Family YMCA and the YMCA of Greater Kansas City

LOCATION: Outdoor pool area at Vivion Road Family YMCA

FACILITY: POOL Outdoor 50 meter by 25-yard pool, offering 6 lanes

of long course competition and 2 lanes of warm-ups.

TIMING Manual stop watch timing and back up will be used.

RULES: 2010 United States Masters Swimming rules will govern the meet.

OFFICIALS: Meet Directors: Sara Garrett and Courtney Staton

WARM-UP AND

START TIMES: Saturday morning warm-ups at 7:00am with competition beginning at 8:10

am. Two lanes of 50 LCM pool will be available for warm-ups immediately

before and after each event. Indoor pool will not be available to meet

participants. All times are Central Standard Time.

SAFETY: In the interest of safety and accident prevention, spectators, coaches and

swimmers are asked to observe all posted pool rules and to conduct

themselves in a safe manner.

ELIGIBILITY: Swimmers are not required to be registered with USMS or YUSA

Swimming. This is an open, non-sanctioned event.

ENTRIES: Swimmers may enter up to six individual events. Please note, events may

be run back to back. Breaks will be given between events if time is

available. Bring volunteer, receive 20% off. Volunteer must be available at

warm ups and stay through entire meet.

ENTRY FEES: YMCA Members: $20 up to four events. $5.00 charge for each additional

event up to six events. Community Members: $30 up to four events.

$5.00 charge for each additional event up to six events.

Make checks payable to: YMCA of Greater Kansas City and mail with

entry packet.

ENTRY LIMIT: Swimmers may enter a maximum of 6 events.

DECK ENTRIES: Deck entries will be accepted at the discretion of the meet directors at an

additional $5.00 charge. Deck entries will not be seeded with an entry

time. Deck entries will be seeded as “NT”.

ENTRY DEADLINE: Pre-registration is due by Wednesday, July 7, 2010 for discounted shirt

offer. Entry forms, release waiver and entry fees are due to meet director

by Monday, July 12, 2010 at 11:00 pm. All entries received after this

deadline will be deemed “Deck Entry” and may be entered with “NT” for an

additional charge.

EVENT SHIRTS: Cost of event shirts is $6.00 with pre-registration. If registered after July 7,

2010, cost of shirt is $12.00. An order form is included with entry sheet.

MAIL ENTRIES TO: Email entries to saragarrett@kansascityymca.org

Mail to:

Vivion Road Family YMCA

ATTN: Sara Garrett, Meet Director

1101 NE 47th Street

Kansas City, MO 64116

816.453.6600

SEEDING: All events are timed finals and will be seeded according to all applicable

YUSA Swimming rules. Seed times will be times entered on the entry

form. Entries with no time (NT) will be seeded by random draw.

Notification of scratches will be appreciated in case lanes are needed for

late entries.

Events will be swam co-ed and mixed age groups for purpose of seeding.

Awards will be given based on gender and age group.

The 800 Free, 400 IM and 400 Free will be seeded fast to slow and

combined if necessary to expedite the meet. We reserve the right to limit

any event as necessary due to the session limitations. The courses and

events will be split or combined at the discretion of the meet referee in the

interest of running the most efficient meet.

Times entered shall be in Long Course Meters. If no LCM time available,

please refer to:

http://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/results/conversions.asp

SCRATCHES: All scratches should be submitted to the timing table as soon as possible

to provide lanes for possible late entries.

AWARDS: Awards will be given to top three finishers in each age group

category for both genders. Age groups are as follows: 18-29, 30-39,

40-49, 50-59, 60 +. Awards ceremony will take place at TBA.

SCORING: There will be no team scoring.

SWIMMERS

MEETING: A swimmers meeting will be held at 8:00am prior to the start of the

meet.

CONCESSIONS: There will be a concession area provided in the spectator area. Heat

sheets and t-shirts will also be for sale in this area.

Order of Events

1 400m Indiv. Medley                          8 100m Freestyle

2 200m Freestyle                                  9 100m Backstroke

3 100m Breastroke                             10 50m Butterfly

4 50m Backstroke                              11 200m Indiv. Medley

5 100m Butterfly                                 12 50m Freestyle

6 400m Freestyle                                13 800m Freestyle

7 50m Breastroke

Crown of Favor

I don't often speak of my views on religion, because, honestly, I'm not sure what they are. I know I believe in God, and I pray every night when I fall asleep. I usually ask for strength in regards to whatever troubles I have, pray for my friends and family whose troubles out number mine, and always thank Him for the wonderful things, blessings, in my life.

My mother was raised in the strict Catholic family, which to some extenct, back fired on here. My father's background is Christian based, but really, that's about all I know. I was left somewhere in the middle.

I haven't attended a church service or mass in years, minus weddings and funerals. Usually, when I see someone preaching on television, I become annoyed. There's been one televangilist whom particulary irritates me. I have been so turned off by his appearance and mannerisims, I would always scoff and change the channel.

Not long ago, I turned on the TV and walked away, listening to the backgrounds. The minister, Joel Osteen, carried on. I don't know if it's coincidence I'm up early on Sunday mornings, or if I've started doing it on purpose, but I've started to catch many of his sermons.

Today, the message is on daring to call yourself what you are, before it happens. Osteen is discussing how a person needs to act like the person they want to be, even if they haven't achieved it yet. There's much talk of a Crown of Favor. Something that God has given all of us. We're already in His favor, we don't need to sit around waiting for favor to fall upon us.

And why should we?

If I want to be succesful in a career, I have to tell myself *I AM* successful. Not I will be. Afterall, what's the difference in the am and will? Only the space in your mind.  Osteen discusses those with addictions- some day, wishing, hoping, praying to be free. Instead, these people need to say to themselves, I AM free of my addicition. I have overcome.

Even if they haven't.

Even when it's a struggle. You're beat up, down trodden, and feeling low. You hope to have blessings in your life. You ask God for His favor. You think some day things will change. God has already made the change, He has presented you in His favor, now it's time for you to accept them. Claim the changes. Claim the blessings. Your name is already on it, come and get it.

It's the difference of One Day to I Am.

What Crown of Favor will you wear today? What can you do right now to make yourself in a better light? Instead of sitting around today telling myself "I'm going to be fit, I'm going to be beautiful, I'm going to be wealthy," I can tell myself that I AM all of these things.

It's the power of believing.

What can you believe? What can you be?

ELF Says It Best

Like so many of my brain dead moments, instead of coming up with my own material, I'm choosing to plagiarize.

"Shortly thereafter I broke down in tears. I know I need to just last it out a little bit longer and I know that I’M ALMOST THERE. But I’ve got to be honest with you. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. And I’m not even at the hard part yet! I felt weak for crying but at the same time, it’s kind of like in Ironman training when you find yourself stopped in your long run, 30 minutes away from the end, crying because you’re hurting, because it’s hot, because you know, dammit, that there will be no more relief for another 30 minutes because there is still work to be done. You know you’re going to get back out there, finish up the last 30 minutes and suffer because that’s who you are. You don’t give up. And when you’re pregnant, giving up is not even a choice.






There is no DNF.






Like in training, you’ve got to let yourself hit rock bottom, bounce back and prove to yourself, ok I can do this. I can last it out a little longer, I can push a human out of me, I can take care of that human for life. And the scary thing is that if I can do all of that I know…I can do anything."

To read the full entry, click here for Liz's blog.


Heading to 38 week check up or whatever the feck week it is now.

Sprinkling labor dust to Schwartzie, who's due today. Read about her here.

For the Fun of It

I've started to check up on SlowTwitch.com again. I am living vicariously through those racing and training this season, plus it's always a great read when the Tour is in action.

Today, it got me to thinking about upcoming races, events, etc. I know I've talked about this previously, but, I decided I want to outline a post-preggo schedule.  This is in my head what *could* happen, but has no bearing on what may be in reality.

October 17, 2010 KC Half Marathon http://www.waddellandreedkansascitymarathon.org/
April 2, 2011 Rock The Parkway Half Marathon or 10k http://www.rocktheparkway.com/
April 22, 2011 NANBF Liberty Figure http://www.naturalbuildfitness.com/
April 31, 2011 ABA KC Championships: Figure and Bikini or Sports Model http://www.kcbodybuildingonline.com/html/kc_championships.html
May 22, 2011 Kansas City Triathlon Sprint http://kansascitytriathlon.com/
June 12, 2011 Kansas 70.3 Relay http://ironmankansas.com/ (Right, Melissa???)
July 30, 2011 Win for KC Tri Sprint http://www.winforkctri.org/
September 10, 2011 OMC Women's Tri Sprint http://jcprd.com/special_events/omc_triathlon.cfm
October 16, 2011 KC Half Marathon http://www.waddellandreedkansascitymarathon.org/

Crunch Time- 17 days to go

Right now I'm feeling a lot of pressure. Both internally and externally. There's two types of internal pressure: The mygutisgoingtoburstandababyisgoingtoshootoutorImightpoopeverywhere pressure, and the GottaGetItDone running laps in my head. Luckily, everything at home is well taken care of.  It always makes me think of the poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas when I start to mentally list off what's done.

'Twas the weeks before birthing, when all through the house
Not an animal was stirring, not even my gigantic dog;
The crib sheets were folded, the Halo Sacks washed,
In hopes that Lil' Dude soon would hurry the eff up and get here.

I know, I know. Poet I am not.

However, at work, I feel like I'm struggling to get a head. Budgets and revenue and all that mambojambo is fine. I have great staff that has helped to set up up for a terrific year. We're well ahead of the curve (and most of my peers, thank you very much, not that it's a competition or anything okay okay, everything's a competition) and things should be running smoothly whenever I leave (Now!? ugh, nope not yet). But I still have these little projects- Testing Recertifications and Parents Handbook for the association- that I have to accomplish. Technically this stuff isn't due until the end of August, but I'm definitely going to be unpregnant and sorta busy by then.

Side story: One of my water fitness instructors keeps telling me I'm going to be late. That's fine, but she says I'll be late like her. As in, she swears she was 6 to 8 weeks late with all three of her children. Grant it, she's a little older and kind of senile, but there's no effing way she went 8 weeks overdue. And she swears she knows when she got pregnant: She says the morning after she "did the nasty" (her term, not mine) she woke up throwing up and knew she was pregnant. Okay, so add bat shit crazy to the list of things she is... along with being the lady that stands naked between the double mirrors at the sink in the locker room shudder. This woman also attended BURNING MAN last year. She's 70 something.

Anyway, I'm scrambling to get these months long projects done, and do the day to day things things sometimes take days (I waited for a pool inspector for 6 hours yesterday. That was 6 hours I spent basically twiddling my thumbs instead of getting my normal duties done, which I now get to do today). Something's gotta give somewhere. I once heard the analogy that directors are professional plate spinner's, trying to see how many plates we can have going at once, and eventually, hope the one's that we drop aren't the big ones. I think that's the most accurate description of my job. Not that it's a bad thing, per se, but it makes life very entertaining to say the least.

 

If I can manage to keep the big plates from falling, we're doing okay. At least until I come back in October.

 

I keep telling husband that I wish Lil Dude would just come out.  But he had a valid point last night. "You should be enjoying the moments you have to yourself right now." I have much to learn, Obi Wan Kenobi, because that was so true. Luckily, he's giving me a lot of space to enjoy those moments- yesterday I came home, sat in the glider in the nursery and finished a little light reading (Actually it was pretty rough- Tina dropped off a copy of The Lovely Bones when she was down. It's amazing, but no easy summer read). Then he cooked a Delicious Bass aka Chicken Kabobs and spicy potatoes. After dinner, we set off separately with the dogs to try to encourage a little pelvic-engaging action. I had a woman in the neighborhood actually called out to me from her porch step that I should "Go home and sit down, before that baby falls out." Seriously, lady? I don't even know you.

 

That was the plan, though. Encourage Lil Dude to fall out.

 

Last night, before going to bed, husband asked "Are you going to go into labor tonight?" All I could say was I hope so. No such luck.

 

I did get up to pee five separate times though. I may be approaching a new record.

Yep.

Still pregnant.





Damnit.

Oh SlowTwitch

I love SlowTwitch.com. When I have a spare moment, I giggle at all the ridiculous, and seldom not-ridiculous, things the TriGeeks say.

I however, am completly inamoured with the idea of LANCE racing Kona. I'm not sure if he has said he WILL, or if he has, WHEN, but I love the thought of it.

Here's a couple links of the yammering that goes on on a daily basis.

Lance at Kona but how will he get there?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/cgi-bin/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=2886542;page=1;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=-1;guest=105664639&t=search_engine

Anything on The Women's
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/gforum.cgi?forum=7;

Why is there a Clydesdale/Athena Category?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/Why_is_there_a_Clydesdale/Athena_Category_P2879412/

If I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner

* So, Texas gets it's very own full distance Ironman. First race is May 21, 2011. I'm not sure how I feel about all these IMs in the US. There's just so many. I loved it being more exclusive. However, it does provide a lot more options. And, should I ever get to do another IM, a spring one might be the only thing that really works for me. Considering how much I work, specifially in the spring and summer, I don't have the time to devote to training. Not to mention I will need LOTS of time with Lil Dude and Husband, plus household crap, I think spring might be the best option. So, maybe 2012? http://ironmantexas.com/





Off the top of your head, how many Ironman races will be held in the US in 2011? What about in North America? Answer will be at the bottom of the post.





* My dad's 52 birthday this year happens to fall on one of the coolest sporting events ever: Motocross des Nations. And guess where it is: Lakewood, Colorado! http://www.mxthundervalley.com/rev/?page_id=256 This event is usually held in some totally awesome European venue, and this year it's back in the 'States. I know he wants to go. I know husband wants to go. I actually kind of want to go, but not sure if Lil Dude would be into the 10 drive in a motorhome (I wonder if that thing even runs...) at 9 weeks old. I may have to just sent pops and Husband.





*Tomorrow Husband and I are taking our maternity pics. And, of course, I went in to get my nails done, and they were in such bad shape, nail lady said to soak off the acryllics, let them heal, and redo them in a couple weeks. Le Sigh, I really wanted pretty nails. I should take better care of my hands. Then there's this swollen pregnancy face thing. It just started about three days ago, but I have puffy jowels, and a swollen bridge of my nose. It doesnt help I have a honkin' zit right there, but seriously. And my feet and ankles have puffed considerably... but nothing like this lady:





I mean seriously. That's just fat feet, right?

* I have to pee.

* I'm just under 36 weeks now. So, I am giving Lil' Dude until about the 10th of July, and I'm running stairs and doing jumping jacks. He's gonna get an eviction notice soon. To help, I've started taking Evening Primrose Oil Capsules this week. Julie's doula recommended them, then they were on my list of things in birthing class to help induce or ease into labor. Here's something I found regarding the practice:

Evening Primrose Oil and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
Neither will actually induce labor. While some lay midwives will argue that statement about the Evening Primrose, which is the reason it is not recommended until 36 weeks or "full term", almost all sources with experience agree that it does nothing that the body was not ready to do on its own. I will repeat this at the end of this section, to make sure you understand this, as there is a lot of confusion and misconception surrounding these two substances.
Evening primrose oil is an excellent source of prostaglandins, which we already determined readies your cervix for labor. It can be taken orally as soon as 34 weeks, and can be applied directly to the cervix at full term (36 weeks). The general recommendation is two 500mg capsules per day until week 38, at which time you increase to 3-4 per day. The entire capsule can be inserted vaginally (inserted just before bed, it will dissolve before the first time you wake to use the bathroom), or you can use the oil on your fingers for your perineal massage, then also rub on your cervix (assuming you can reach it). Applying directly to the cervix is optimal, but the beneficial ingredients are absorbed through the external skin or the stomach also.
Red raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic used by Native Americans for thousands of years. It tones your uterus by helping to "focus" your Braxton Hicks contractions. Think of its job as helping your uterus do more effective exercising while you are pregnant. It does not "cause" contractions and can be safely used throughout pregnancy. It is contraindicated for those having complications "just in case", however, by most doctors who do not understand its use. Many women safely use it from the moment they learn they are pregnant at six weeks until months after delivery. (It helps to tone the uterus after delivery as well, shrinking it back to size more quickly and reducing bleeding.)
Again, neither of these actually causes labor to start.

Just to clarify: I'm not sticking capsules up my hoo-ha. They are taken orally, thankyouverymuch. Still in search of: Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (Pregnancy Tea). Julie and Chrissy have both found the tea, so I'm going to get them to get me some. I went on an exploration that included Consentino's, Nature's Pantry, and Hy-Vee, all to giagantic fails.

* I may or may not have tried on my boob pump. Yes, it will suck something out. I didnt turn it up high enough to see if it would suck something out right now, but, I'm pretty sure it could. I also stuck the vaccum displayed at birthing class onto husbands arm and pumped. I think he might have a hickey the size of a peanut butter jar. I started laughing really hard because I couldnt figure out how in the hell to release the pressue. We are *that* couple in class.

Answer:

US Ironman events, including Kona: 9.
North American events: 11.

Over It.

I'm so over it.

Pregnancy isn't horrible. Everything is fine (minus the excessive Braxton-Hicks, the mild swelling of my feet and legs, and the new puffy cheeks), but really, I have nothing to complain about.

But I'm over it. I just want to have this kid. I want to see him and smell him and hold him in my arms instead of my uterus.

I also want my body back. I mean, I get that I have to share my body, or my boobs anyway with the lil' dude and lil' dude's dad (hell it's the truth), but really, I'd like to have a little more control over my body.

Aside from getting thru daily life for the next four months plus, I have started having new dreams. I have now twice dreamnt of doing a figure competition. Hubs and I very briefly discussed it, and after making silly muscle man poses in our living room, he agreed that it will be a great and challenging way to get back in shape post baby, without taking the time away from Lil Dude and himself, like training for an IM would (or half IM, or anything that requires longish runs before it's warm enough to put Lil Dude in the running stroller... or bike rides off the

trainer). Soooo, me, next year, May-ish? :)

In other news, I went to watch KS 70.3 June 6th. It was a beautiful day for racing. Mostly overcast, not incredibly hot. Chrissie Wellington knocked another out of the park. She set a new course record of 4:07.49. Um, that's like FAST. .. crap, I was going to post pictures, but I just realized I left my camera in another bag.

Alright, back to worky jerky I go. Wooo hoo.

YMCA of Greater Kansas City hopes to continue growth under new leadership - KansasCity.com

YMCA of Greater Kansas City hopes to continue growth under new leadership - KansasCity.com

First Friday Randoms

It's the first Friday of the month. And, it's random.

Randoms:

-I had free Chick-Fil-A today. Got a coupon via email and chowed down. pretty much the entire YMCA, plus the city went. it. was. awesome.

-I've been kicking myself for not going to watch the KC tri two weeks ago. It was pretty much in my back yard, I even got up in time to go, but I let husband talk me into getting back in bed. That was nice, but I've been jonesin' for some triathlon. Sooo, I'm planning to go to Larryville to watch KS 70.3 on Sunday. It's a great local (while 90 min for me!) race, and I love to watch the pros. Supposedly Chris Leito and Chrissie Wellington are on the starting line up, but I thought Chrissie was injured. Not sure though.

-Flossy-lassi just dared me to cheer in a bikini on Sunday. I just might. ha!

-Last weekend Smashley and I bought a kiddie pool at wal-mart. It didn't fit in the Jetta, so it went ON the jetta. We drove 5 mph the whole way home. It took about 20 min. I love my kiddie pool.

-I truly dislike anything bar-be-que. I know, blasphemy. Just because I'm from Kansas City, it doesn't mean I have to love the stuff. However, husband dearest smoked ribs on the grill last Sunday, and they were the greatest thing ever.

-This week and next are my busiest weeks of the summer. Well, they lead into it, anyway. So many (work) activities.

-Yep still pregnant. Belly button still in. Legs are not swelling too visably.

-I got the pictures from the Cupcake Baby Shower. Cutest shower ever. EVER. No, I said EVER. I mean it.

-I have a cold. It's my father's fault. At least, that's who I'm gonna blame. Nothing sucks worse than having a cold in 90+ degree heat. Wait, having a cold in 90+ degree heat at about 8 months pregnant sucks worse.

-Did I mention how jealous I am of everyone racing KS? Even more jealous of everyone racing Branson. That's gonna be an awesome race.

Me. An Update.

This is me.

28 weeks

30 weeks

31 weeks

31 weeks.

While Eric was taking pictures, Zeus came in an plopped down on the ground. He is the saddest looking dog. He obviously knows that something's up.

I've officially gained 21 lbs. My goal was 25, and I'm going to pass that, but I'll still be way under 60 lbs. I think I'll end up somewhere around 30 lbs., which is healthy I suppose. I definitely got the dreaded stretch marks. I didn't honestly think I would avoid them, but there was this little glimmer of hope. The belly button is still quite in (except for when Eli kicks right behind it- not only is that painful, but it actually flattens out my BB while his foot is there. Fuuuurreeaakky.). I took our my navel ring. Only because when someone (usually unwanted) touches (grabs) my stomach the first thing they would say is, "Oh MY GAWD! Is that your belly button!?" Then I'd have to explain that it's my belly ring, and I'd get all kinds of reactions:

Can I see? - No.

Why are you still wearing that? - Because I can.

That's bad for the baby? - You're Stupid.

Can I see? - No.

I have stopped running. Which is sad, but, well, it's... HARD. I get in a swim every so often, but that's really it. I'm going to try to get out and walk more, but this heat and humidity is ridiculous. For my own enjoyment, I want it to be mild this summer, however, for my work's perspective, I need it to be hot as hell. Not sure what we'll get.

PS here's a reminder: This was 7 weeks.

Boob Gate 2010

My boobs are huge. Prior to being pregnant, my boobs were BIG, but not ridiculously massive. I could still race in a swim suit if I wanted to. However, going from a 36 D to a 38 F (as in What The F!) is not exactly taking too kindly to me.

Pull up a chair, and let me illustrate what has now become Boob Gate 2010.

Yesterday morning I got work feeling less frazzled than normal, mostly because I looked cute. I was wearing this super cute green dress, and a black one button cardigan. It's so comfy. However, the tube top part has started to become a little snug. No big deal though. Here's what I think I looked like.

Cute, right? Well, I thought it was a darling outfit.

I had a 9am appointment with a potentional new lifeguard. She's young, and impresssionable. Just the way I like them- makes them easy to train. What's this got to do with Boob Gate 2010? Please, stay with me.

We hold the interview in my office. It's got a long L shape desk that sits up against a window overlooking my pool.

See? Here's my chair, and the chair the interviewee was in. The interview went well, but about halfway through she seemed to get really nervous. Like, Really nervous. And she stopped looking at me. What is with teenagers that makes them all of sudden get weird? I thought maybe it had something to do with my discussing what a tight ship we run, and how I have a zero tolerance for a lot of things. We also discussed appearance and professionalism. That's really important to me, as I put (way too) much emphasis on how I look, as that's how people percieve you.

She was all fine and dandy, but a little weird averting eye contact. Maybe she had a short attention span. Regardless, things went well, I told her I was intrested in having her on my staff. In conclusion, I stood up to shake her hand and thank her for coming in. That's when I turned to my left to look out at my pool.

That's an old picture of my office. I now have a dry erase board on the outside that also acts as a mirror of sorts for me. As I was looking out at my guard, I realized, through the reflection of my window-mirror, I now looked like this:

That's right, ya'll. My super super cute little green tube dress betrayed me, my cardigan, and giant nude colored nursing bra.

The Girls Were Out. The tube part had slide down to right underneath my bra. I hadn't felt a thing.

All of my right boob, and pretty much all of the left. Out. Actually, they weren't entirely alone. You see, I was leaning forward for most of the interview, with my gut hanging... and the Girls just sitting on top.

So, here I am, talking to the new hire about the Christian principles of the YMCA, and I have my tee-tas in her face, three feet away.

Stunned, I pulled my top up and stood there, looking away. I finally turned back towards her, and apologized. I AM SO SORRY. I DID NOT KNOW.

She then says, "I was going to say something but I thought it would be rude."

Ooookay. Let's go back to young and impressionable. If I were interviewing a 30-something, she would have said "Sorry, your top is down." I could have pulled it up and continued. No, teeny bopped Tina didn't have the balls to say to her potential new boss "Ma'am, your tits are out." I politely suggested that it might be rude NOT to tell someone the milk jugs are swinging freely.

I'm going to skip the second interview and send her to training. I don't really want to see her again until I feel less like a flasher.

Awesome.

Chill Out, Yo!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/05/03/o.well.lived.life.key/index.html?hpt=Sbin


Lighten up on yourself to have a better life
By Elizabeth Gilbert, O, The Oprah Magazine
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Author: Too many women stress over whether they are accomplishing enough
Also, women find more faults when comparing themselves to other women
Writer urges women to accept mistakes, letting others be more perfect
RELATED TOPICS
Stress
Relationships
(OPRAH.com) -- Nearly all the women I know are stressing themselves sick over the pathological fear that they simply aren't doing enough with their lives.
Which is crazy -- absolutely flat-out bananas -- because the women I know do a lot, and they do it well.
My cousin Sarah, for instance, is earning her master's degree in international relations, while simultaneously working for a nonprofit that builds playgrounds at woefully underfunded public schools.
Kate is staying home and raising the two most enchanting children I've ever met -- while also working on a cookbook.
Donna is producing Hollywood blockbusters; Stacy is running a London bank; Polly just launched an artisanal bakery...
By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life.
Sarah worries that she should be traveling around the world instead of committing to a master's degree. Kate worries that she's wasting her education by staying home with her kids. Donna worries that she's endangering her marriage by working such long hours. Stacy worries that the capitalistic world of banking is murdering her creativity. Polly worries that her artisanal bakery might not be quite capitalistic enough.
All of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.
It's terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)
Oprah.com: Why women never hear the good stuff
So here's what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?
As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?
When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days -- with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents -- I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through.
But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map.
As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn -- whoops, that was a suffering button!
Oprah.com: 10 life lessons you should unlearn
To make matters even more stressful, we constantly measure ourselves against each other's progress, which is a truly dreadful habit.
My sister, Catherine, told me recently about a conversation she'd had with a sweet neighbor who -- after watching Catherine spend an afternoon organizing a scavenger hunt for all the local kids -- said sadly, "You're such a better mother than I will ever be." At which point, my sister grabbed her friend's hands and said, "Please. Let's not do this to each other, okay?"
No, seriously -- please. Let's not.
Because it breaks my heart to know that so many amazing women are waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning and abusing themselves for not having gone to art school, or for not having learned to speak French, or for not having organized the neighborhood scavenger hunt. I fear that -- if we continue this mad quest for perfection -- we will all end up as stressed-out and jumpy as those stray cats who live in Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants, forever scavenging for scraps of survival while pulling out their own hair in hypervigilant anxiety.
Oprah.com: 6 steps to a regret-proof life
So let's drop it, maybe?
Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen.
Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.)
While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet.
Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted -- by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you -- trust me -- for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.
Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.
Map your own life.
By Elizabeth Gilbert from O, The Oprah Magazine © 2010
Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" and "Committed"
Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 75% off the newsstand price. That's like getting 18 issues FREE.Subscribe now!
TM & © 2010 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.