Tuesday, March 31, 2015

All Aboard the NOPE Train

This past weekend Husband Dearest and I got to go on our first EVER over night trip together where I wasn't pregnant. Make note: That was October 2009, ya'll. I'm telling you this just so I can share a couple pictures and then move on to the story you want to hear.




Wag the Dog

As I mentioned, we were gone for under 36 hours leaving our kids in the very capable hands of our dental hygienist.  True story (full disclosure- said dental hygenienst has known me since I was a zygote. I grew up with her two boys that lived catty-cornered to me. She has now earned the moniker "Grandma Kim").

Sunday evening husband dearest was sweeping out the garage when he realized that the D-Con rat poison that had been put out nearly three years ago on a ledge had somehow dislodged and was on the floor of the garage. Well, what was left of it. I checked with Grandma Kim, and she knew nothing of it, so one or both of the big damn dogs had decided that a little anti-coagulation capsules would be a good dinner, topped only with the cardboard box it came in.

We decided to wait until morning as neither of the dogs presented any symptoms. The next day, after consulting my fav-o-right vet Ashley W., I had been warned that it was urgent and by the time we saw symptoms it would be too late.

Here's the issue for my tissue: I couldn't get ahold of Husband Dearest. I was able to get into an urgent care slot at a vet in town, but I had to be there in 20 minutes. So, Zeus (spelled S-T-U-P-I-D) and Shy dog, plus E2 AND E3 went for a ride to the vet.

Now, hold it right there. You're thinking, "So what?" Well hang on Bob Ross, I need to help you paint a picture:

Zeus is a 120lb mastiff, Shy is a 14 year old deaf pitbull ,and my two kids were all under my supervision at one time. That, my friends, is a traveling circus.

On the way to the destination I noticed that Zeus had his head hanging over the rear seat with boys boys wildly laughing. He was panting in his big goofy dog grin and slobber was sliding right out of his jowls.

And plopping right on E3's head.   Gross.

For the intention of safety I had to run all the kids/dogs into the office in a buddy system, two by two, which left the receptionist in stitches laughing.

By the time the vet was finally able to see the dogs I had decided that Jesus had the wheel because I wasn't going to be manning that vessel much longer. 

Hey, guess who was all fine and dandy? BOTH dogs. So a few bills, a bottle of K1 vitamins, and the majority of my sanity later, we were out the door. About five minutes before I pulled into the drive I got a phone call back from Husband Dearest, "Hey babe, did you need something?"




No comments: