Crank Yankers

It's 2:30am and my phone is ringing. "Unknown number" the screen says.

"Hello?" I answer, painfully aware of the time and very afraid of having to get out of bed to open the pool in the morning, as what other reason would I be getting a phone call so early?

"This is your best friend." Uh, no, it's not. Alygator does not sound like an 18 year old girl, and Jules wouldn't call me at 2:30am to just phuck with me. Unless there's wine involved. And she would for sure be WAY better at prank phone calls than this douche.

With enough exchange I got a first name. Then a bunch of stammering and a last name. Then I was told we were best friends (again). Oh, and she has a brain tumor and she hates me. That sucks. I'm also told that we "swam together back in the day." Um, FYI you're not even old enough to use the term 'back in the day.' I say.

When I had enough I said I was hanging up the phone and to have a goodnight. Then she dropped this one, "I slept with your husband." Too bad I had already pressed the red button. Darn. I asked Eric, "You sleep with anyone by that name?" Nope. If I did, must have sucked, because I don't remember. Haha! And with that we laughed a bit more and rolled off to bed.

I have a pretty good idea who it was. But even better, I put in a trace request with my phone service provider and will have a phone number and name by the close of business.

I'll save it for a rainy day.