This is stolen straight from the ELF. Click here to see her blog.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Things People Say
WARNING: Very sassy, sarcastic post ahead!I’m going to start a Twitter account called “things people say to me while pregnant.”Call me a little sensitive, a lot vulnerable and sometimes so uncomfortable with feeling so big and uncomfortable but is it just me or does it feel like pregnancy gives people a license to say things to you that they wouldn’t otherwise say. If you are pregnant or have been pregnant you know what I mean. And know why I'm begging for a little more discretion in dealing with the pregnant woman please.Now, I mean no offense. Really, I don’t. Please forgive me of all sass because I am, after all, pregnant, raging with hormones and about to make my 14th trip to the bathroom for today. But here goes, a (long) list of things people say to you when pregnant....
#1 – Anything said about weight gain by the woman who is not pregnant nor has ever been pregnant.Telling you that you only need 300 more calories a day when pregnant. How soon until you can shut your piehole? There are things you don’t know. Being pregnant changes your body. That doesn’t mean that I am nose deep in ice cream every night nor going to stay “fat” for the rest of my life. It just means that there are things you cannot control in life and this is one of them. The body will do what it wants to do. If and when you get pregnant, we will see what your body will do. And I will be there to help you count those 300 extra calories a day.
#2 – Anything said by a man about his once pregnant wife.Don't tell me your wife only gained xx (read: very few) pounds in pregnancy. There is no medal for delivering without drugs just like there is no medal for gaining the least amount of weight. Either way we all get the same thing at the finish line – baby. I gained her total pounds before week 20. I got there faster. Know what that means? I win.
#3 – Anything said by a man about your weight gain.Things like – wow, you’re really getting big or wow, every time I see you, you are eating. I ask you though – when does he have to give up many things that he likes in life to become 25+ pounds bigger with a small mammal growing inside of him. He does not. And because of that, the proper thing to say is "wow you look beautiful" or "gee can I get you some more _____(what you are eating)."
#4 – Stories from your mom about how she finished her pregnancy at the weight you started at. Nothing more needs to be said.
#5 – Stories from the woman who gained over 50 pounds while pregnant.To some extent, she is my hero. She looked at the angry ocean of pregnancy, said fuck it and jumped right into a bag of chips, a gallon of ice cream and whatever the hell she wanted every single day. She knew she was going to be uncomfortable no matter what so might as well go at it full tilt. I have a friend who gained 75 pounds while pregnant. When I asked her how she accomplished that amazing feat she admitted it took a lot of Cinnabons and Oreo McFlurries. THAT takes balls.
#6 – People who say “If you keep ______, that baby’s going to fall right out.”Let’s see: the baby falls out or I spend possibly 36 hours pushing it out while shitting myself. I’ll take my chances.
#7 – People who disagree with your attitude that as soon as you enter the hospital, a source of drugs should enter your veins.It’s like talking to someone about god. Get ready to agree to disagree. I can’t say that I really care which way the baby comes out, just as long as it comes out. There’s a lot of things to feel guilty about in life (tapping into free cable from Comcast, eating the last spoonful of Nutella, blowing my nose on the indoor track at the gym when no one is around), taking drugs during labor is not one of them. There will be plenty of Mommy-guilt every time I want to take my eyes off my kid for the next 18 years.
#8 – Someone who doesn’t realize you are over 5 months pregnant until you tell them.Is this an insult or the best compliment in the world? Happened to me the other day. I’ve seen this guy every 2 weeks or so since December. When he asked if I would be riding my bike outside this week, I told him I can’t do that anymore. His face turned white and he said “you aren’t?” Well, I have been for the past 22 weeks! Does this mean that he sat there for over 5 months thinking to himself, wow, she’s really packing on the pounds or am I hiding what has to be 8 pounds of placenta, 5 pounds of boob and 4 pounds of edema THAT well?
#9 – Once pregnant women who tell you that your _______(enter body part) will never be the same.News flash: after gaining what feels like 100 pounds and watching the skin of your stomach migrate to the next zip code outside of your body, it will never go back to its original state. You mean – that 60 buck tub of cream from Pea in the Pod wasn’t blessed by magical anti-stretch-mark elves? Please let me believe that everything will just snap right back into place.
#10 – When someone informs you that “you are starting to show”.I’m starting to show. Really. Funny because when I looked down today and couldn’t see my vagina I was thinking that I might be able to hide this FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. Amen to showing – finally I can stop feeling like the chick who’s getting a little bit of chubchub around her waist and move on to the we-can-finally-ask-her-when-she’s-due-without-embarrassing-ourselves category.
#11 – Women who kindly inform you that being pregnant in the summer is hell.Because I haven’t already lived through 25 summers in the ass crack of the Midwest summer, these women remind you that being 30+ pounds overweight, bloated and waddling through a 90 degree day with 90% humidity is not as fun as you thought it would be. Neither was the marathon at Kona but I still did that in a Boston qualifying time. Both times. Thankyouverymuch.
#12 – Incessantly being asked “how are you feeling?”Imagine greeting someone every single time with how are you feeling. It’s not just that they ask you the question, they lower their voice and say it in such a way that you think that you might just look AND feel really bad. You think to yourself: am I dying? What you really want to say is: I feel f*cking amazing. How do you think I feel. I’ve already gained 16 percent of starting my body weight and I haven’t crapped in 3 days.
#13 – When someone asks, “are you sure you should be doing that?”If I could walk around with freedom to say that to anyone in the world, imagine the responses I would get. To all smokers, fast food eaters, texting while driving drivers, people posting their workout stats as part of their Facebook status update: are you sure you should be doing that? One night, I took a sip of wine and someone said “are you sure you should be doing that?” Listen, if that’s all it takes to harm this kid then he’s in trouble. I've got a 10-lb killer chihuahua living at my house.
#14 – Stories about how labor is godawfulmostpainfulmessynightmareGosh, I was thinking that squeezing a watermelon through a hole that used to make me think – how will I ever get a tampon in there – will feel so good I’ll shove the kid back in so I can do it again.
#15 – “You look great.”Really? Do I REALLY look great? Don’t lie to me. This is like when a spectator tells you that you look great at mile 18 of the Ironman marathon. No I don’t. I’ve been sunburned, pissed myself a dozen times and I am so desperate for salt I am licking my arm for the sweat. I look like hell rolled over me. Here's the deal: you don't look great, you just look pregnant.
#16 – Being reminded that I’ll never _____ again (sleep, go out to eat, have sex, take a vacation, live a normal life).I would imagine that taking on the responsibility of another life involves sacrifice. This is why we waited 10 years to have a child. We’ll make the sacrifices. Life will change. Like most change in life, it will be hard. You telling me hard it will be doesn’t make me think it is any harder. I think back to the race course in Corner Brook. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about the EPIC climb on the course. Turns out that epic climb was something you could stomp up out of the saddle in your big ring. This will be hard but we’ll be the judge of how hard it is. If it’s really hard, I’ll bring my road bike. If it’s epic, I’ll put on my compact crank.
#17 – Stories about pregnancy from women who gave birth to twins (or more).Nothing they she says is stupid, in fact it’s pure genius. Higher value wisdom than she-who-gained-50pluspounds. She says it’s hard, she knows hard. She says she breastfed – two at one time, she basically double-fisted it. She says she didn’t see her vagina after week 12, she’s a legend.
#18 – After being asked how you feel and told you look great it’s only a matter of time before someone asks “when are you due”.I’m due when the baby comes out. He will come out when he’s ready to come out. It could be on a specific day but about 80 percent of the time it occurs after that specific day. So what this all means is that I have no idea when the baby will be born. You can now stop asking me. Every time you ask me it reminds me I still have ___ months to go before I can shed this fat suit. And when I tell you late July it inevitably leads to #11.
#19 – When your husband tells you that he'll still love you even if you don’t lose the weight.I know he means well. But that doesn’t mean I want to hear it. Let’s pretend like I lose all the weight in 3 days and I go back to being me again. Tell me you will only love me then because I’m a pretty competitive person and I need a little fire under my ass. If you tell me you’ll love me no matter what that makes me feel like I have permission to walk around looking 6-months pregnant for the rest of my life. Tell me to nut up and get my ass back in shape or something. Call me Chubs. I’m going to need some motivation.
#20 – Strangers who ask “have you thought about names?”Listen, I’ve had this child named since I was 12 years old. OF COURSE we’ve thought about names! But the real question is why should we tell? Chances are you’re going to tell me some story about a kid you knew in the first grade with the same name who stood in the corner eating paste while shitting his pants. Thanks for the visual. Now, what’s your kid named? Really? I knew a kid with that name who ate his own boogers every day at lunch.
Now, it's not all that way. Know that for all the crazy things people say, you get about ten times as many good things that make you feel warm beyond words. And, of course I write this with the sass and humor that you need to have when you realize that even your underwear doesn't fit you anymore or that you just got out of breath while bending down to tie your shoes. So, cheers to all the pregnant women out there. Carry on, no matter what they say and remember, the correct answer is always: I feel great. Repeat after me: I - feel - great.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Like a Basketball Wearing Two Cantaloupes
Like a basketball wearing two cantaloupes.
That's how I'd describe my body. Although, I haven't quite reached basketball status (more like half of it), my body is exploding. I've gained 10 lbs. Not that much, in comparison to normal gains of 12-18lbs at this point, but it feels like 30.
I'm 22 weeks. 18 to go. Hallelujah.
So, here I am.
7 Weeks, 1 day
14 weeks, 4 days(I was cranky, can you tell?)
16weeks, 2 days
18weeks, 4 days (Hello, Eli)
21 weeks
21 weeks, 2 daysTuesday, March 9, 2010
A Woman's Week at the Gym
Working at a health club of sorts, you get all kinds. I found this email particularly amusing.
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
Dear Diary,For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training for me at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
FRIDAY:I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?_
SATURDAY:Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
Dear Diary,For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training for me at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
FRIDAY:I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?_
SATURDAY:Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Farmville is dumb.
There, I said it. Farmville is dumb. Please do not send me any Farmville requests on Facebook. Facebooks itself is a big enough time dump, I do not want nor care to see or hear anything pertaining to Farmville.
Old MacDonald was busy at WORK (ya know, on an actual farm), and never would have had time for something so ridiculous.
The Facebook games that millions love (and hate)
By Doug Gross, CNN
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Zynga games like FarmVille, Mafia Wars are played by millions every day on Facebook
Expert says social gaming succeeds by appealing to women, other non-traditional gamers
Zynga founder says key to success was games that can be played during conference call
Backlash leads to FB group of 5 million saying they're tired of seeing games
(CNN) -- Early each morning, millions of farmers around the world rise to toil in their fields. By night, gangs of mobsters scheme and legions of poker players shuffle up and deal.
Sure, none of it's real. But the overwhelming popularity of so-called social gaming -- simple games that let people play with their friends on networking sites such as Facebook -- is changing the face of video games, experts say.
And as the maker of popular titles like FarmVille and Mafia Wars, San Francisco, California-based Zynga has ridden the games' skyrocketing popularity to the top of that emerging market.
For Zynga founder Mark Pincus, the formula for gaming success on Facebook, MySpace and other sites was as simple as it might seem counterintuitive: create simple games that people like but can easily set aside.
"We built the games so they could be played in a tab on your browser while you're on a conference call," said Pincus, a veteran Web entrepreneur who created Zynga in 2007.
Of course, they've been helped by the massive growth of Facebook, where the games are so popular they've spawned "fan" pages devoted to complaining about having to watch friends play them.
Facebook, with its 400 million users, is where the vast majority of people play FarmVille and Mafia Wars along with other Zynga titles like FishVille, Vampires, Café World, YoVille and Zynga Poker.
In all, more than 65 million people play Zynga games every day, according to media tracking company Developer Analytics.
Zynga's top title, FarmVille, is played by an estimated 75 million people each month -- roughly equal to the number who have played the classic arcade and desktop game Tetris during its entire existence.
The massive growth was satisfying but not altogether surprising to Pincus, whose previous startups had included Freeloader, a Web-based information-gathering service; tech-support company SupportSoft; and Tribe.net, an early social networking site from 2003.
He said that starting the game company, which he named after his late English bulldog, was an effort to fill what he considered a surprising void in most people's daily Internet use.
"I thought in 2007 that something had gone oddly wrong with the whole Internet experience," Pincus said. "I would have thought games would have been one of the top two or three experiences people had on the Internet."
What Pincus got right, according to gaming expert Scott Steinberg, was a sort of return to the "golden era" of games like Pac-man and Super Mario Bros.
"Video games actually appealed to a huge cross-section. They appealed to everybody," said Steinberg, publisher of DigitalTrends.com. "What happened is, as we went through the mid-'80s to the mid-2000s, you started to see gaming become more incestuous in terms of 18- to 34-year-old males making games for people just like them."
By contrast, three of Zynga's top five games -- FarmVille, Café World and FishVille -- have mostly female players, with many players outside the traditional 18- to 34-year-old range.
Those games all operate on the same basic premise. Starting with a simple farm, fish tank or restaurant, the player works to make it bigger and fancier, sharing items with friends and helping each other along the way.
Some of Zynga's early titles simply mirrored existing board and card games. It was Mafia Wars -- in which players team up to whack other gangs-- that first exhibited what would become the hallmarks of social gaming: simple, single-player action that's enhanced by teamwork.
With FarmVille, that formula would become complete.
Players plant virtual crops that can be harvested hours, or days, later. Along the way, they invite online friends to become their neighbors and help each other by sending gifts or helping with the farming.There's no way to "win," but players take satisfaction in building big, fancy farms that they can showcase to their friends.
"A farm is something that is internationally understood and known. It's cross-cultural, cross-gender, cross-age," Pincus said. "A great social game should be like a great cocktail party. If you want it to appeal to absolutely everyone you invite, it has to be broad in its content so that everyone gets it."
Not that Zynga's success has come without criticism.
With hundreds of smaller companies vying for a piece of the social gaming market, some rivals have accused Zynga of using its hefty venture capital to crowd out less-financed competitors.
Many of its most popular games, including FarmVille, are similar to pre-existing games from smaller companies, a fact Pincus dismisses by noting that video games have always fallen into genres with similar titles from competing companies.
Psycho Monkey LLC, the makers of Mob Wars, filed a lawsuit claiming that Mafia Wars ripped them off. Zynga settled that case in August, said a spokeswoman for the company.
Zynga also was hit with complaints and lawsuits over its original business model, which let players earn in-game rewards for things like signing up for a credit card or video-rental membership.
Critics said some of the offers amounted to scams, leading players to download unwanted software or unwittingly sign up for memberships that appeared stealthily on their phone bills.
Pincus has acknowledged not being vigilant enough with the automated ads that appeared on Zynga games during the company's early days.
"We were playing whack-a-mole," Pincus said. "Every time we found one of these or got a complaint, we would take them down. Eventually ... we realized we had to take a much more aggressive stance than a normal Web site."
In November, Zynga removed all "lead-generating" ads, relying for revenue instead on the roughly 1 to 3 percent of the player base that pays for in-game items, such as a barn in FarmVille. It has since been putting the advertisements back in, with a new system that lets it more closely monitor what kind of ads show up, Pincus said.
"We'll see where this goes for the entire industry," Pincus said. "It was really important to us to maintain a trusted position with our users. We wanted to do the right thing, and I think we did."
Pincus offers a ray of hope for another vocal group of critics: the social-media users who say they're tired of seeing all of their friends' updates about Zynga and other social games.
On Facebook, a group called "I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!" had more than 5.2 million members recently.
"Please. No more of this stuff," wrote one member. "I've had all I can take. About to hang up FACEBOOK. Just want a nice cozy place to talk with my friends!"
Pincus said he hopes that messages from games can eventually be targeted to a more select audience.
"We have to evolve," Pincus said "I think it's heading to a place that's more narrow-casting. I think you'll get to a place where Facebook will be better about showing feeds to people who have a registered interest in them."
For example, he said, there might eventually be a way to send game notifications only to people who play social games themselves.
"It's not just games. It's going to be true for music, for pictures, for status updates," Pincus said. "I think, over time, these networks are going to start to shape more to ... your [registered interests]."
Meanwhile, Zynga will be among the developers continuing to change how people look at video gaming. It's a change that Steinberg, the gaming guru, says will be for the better.
While heavyweights like Electronic Arts and the popular Civilization series are making inroads into social gaming, Steinberg said, the genre is also opening up opportunities for smaller developers.
"We're seeing, in many ways, a second renaissance for games," Steinberg said.
"There's been an epiphany among the developer community saying, 'Look at these millions of users that we've forgotten to speak to for years.' This can only be a good thing for the gaming industry in the end."
Old MacDonald was busy at WORK (ya know, on an actual farm), and never would have had time for something so ridiculous.
____________________________________________________
The Facebook games that millions love (and hate)
By Doug Gross, CNN
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Zynga games like FarmVille, Mafia Wars are played by millions every day on Facebook
Expert says social gaming succeeds by appealing to women, other non-traditional gamers
Zynga founder says key to success was games that can be played during conference call
Backlash leads to FB group of 5 million saying they're tired of seeing games
(CNN) -- Early each morning, millions of farmers around the world rise to toil in their fields. By night, gangs of mobsters scheme and legions of poker players shuffle up and deal.
Sure, none of it's real. But the overwhelming popularity of so-called social gaming -- simple games that let people play with their friends on networking sites such as Facebook -- is changing the face of video games, experts say.
And as the maker of popular titles like FarmVille and Mafia Wars, San Francisco, California-based Zynga has ridden the games' skyrocketing popularity to the top of that emerging market.
For Zynga founder Mark Pincus, the formula for gaming success on Facebook, MySpace and other sites was as simple as it might seem counterintuitive: create simple games that people like but can easily set aside.
"We built the games so they could be played in a tab on your browser while you're on a conference call," said Pincus, a veteran Web entrepreneur who created Zynga in 2007.
Of course, they've been helped by the massive growth of Facebook, where the games are so popular they've spawned "fan" pages devoted to complaining about having to watch friends play them.
Facebook, with its 400 million users, is where the vast majority of people play FarmVille and Mafia Wars along with other Zynga titles like FishVille, Vampires, Café World, YoVille and Zynga Poker.
In all, more than 65 million people play Zynga games every day, according to media tracking company Developer Analytics.
Zynga's top title, FarmVille, is played by an estimated 75 million people each month -- roughly equal to the number who have played the classic arcade and desktop game Tetris during its entire existence.
The massive growth was satisfying but not altogether surprising to Pincus, whose previous startups had included Freeloader, a Web-based information-gathering service; tech-support company SupportSoft; and Tribe.net, an early social networking site from 2003.
He said that starting the game company, which he named after his late English bulldog, was an effort to fill what he considered a surprising void in most people's daily Internet use.
"I thought in 2007 that something had gone oddly wrong with the whole Internet experience," Pincus said. "I would have thought games would have been one of the top two or three experiences people had on the Internet."
What Pincus got right, according to gaming expert Scott Steinberg, was a sort of return to the "golden era" of games like Pac-man and Super Mario Bros.
"Video games actually appealed to a huge cross-section. They appealed to everybody," said Steinberg, publisher of DigitalTrends.com. "What happened is, as we went through the mid-'80s to the mid-2000s, you started to see gaming become more incestuous in terms of 18- to 34-year-old males making games for people just like them."
By contrast, three of Zynga's top five games -- FarmVille, Café World and FishVille -- have mostly female players, with many players outside the traditional 18- to 34-year-old range.
Those games all operate on the same basic premise. Starting with a simple farm, fish tank or restaurant, the player works to make it bigger and fancier, sharing items with friends and helping each other along the way.
Some of Zynga's early titles simply mirrored existing board and card games. It was Mafia Wars -- in which players team up to whack other gangs-- that first exhibited what would become the hallmarks of social gaming: simple, single-player action that's enhanced by teamwork.
With FarmVille, that formula would become complete.
Players plant virtual crops that can be harvested hours, or days, later. Along the way, they invite online friends to become their neighbors and help each other by sending gifts or helping with the farming.There's no way to "win," but players take satisfaction in building big, fancy farms that they can showcase to their friends.
"A farm is something that is internationally understood and known. It's cross-cultural, cross-gender, cross-age," Pincus said. "A great social game should be like a great cocktail party. If you want it to appeal to absolutely everyone you invite, it has to be broad in its content so that everyone gets it."
Not that Zynga's success has come without criticism.
With hundreds of smaller companies vying for a piece of the social gaming market, some rivals have accused Zynga of using its hefty venture capital to crowd out less-financed competitors.
Many of its most popular games, including FarmVille, are similar to pre-existing games from smaller companies, a fact Pincus dismisses by noting that video games have always fallen into genres with similar titles from competing companies.
Psycho Monkey LLC, the makers of Mob Wars, filed a lawsuit claiming that Mafia Wars ripped them off. Zynga settled that case in August, said a spokeswoman for the company.
Zynga also was hit with complaints and lawsuits over its original business model, which let players earn in-game rewards for things like signing up for a credit card or video-rental membership.
Critics said some of the offers amounted to scams, leading players to download unwanted software or unwittingly sign up for memberships that appeared stealthily on their phone bills.
Pincus has acknowledged not being vigilant enough with the automated ads that appeared on Zynga games during the company's early days.
"We were playing whack-a-mole," Pincus said. "Every time we found one of these or got a complaint, we would take them down. Eventually ... we realized we had to take a much more aggressive stance than a normal Web site."
In November, Zynga removed all "lead-generating" ads, relying for revenue instead on the roughly 1 to 3 percent of the player base that pays for in-game items, such as a barn in FarmVille. It has since been putting the advertisements back in, with a new system that lets it more closely monitor what kind of ads show up, Pincus said.
"We'll see where this goes for the entire industry," Pincus said. "It was really important to us to maintain a trusted position with our users. We wanted to do the right thing, and I think we did."
Pincus offers a ray of hope for another vocal group of critics: the social-media users who say they're tired of seeing all of their friends' updates about Zynga and other social games.
On Facebook, a group called "I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!" had more than 5.2 million members recently.
"Please. No more of this stuff," wrote one member. "I've had all I can take. About to hang up FACEBOOK. Just want a nice cozy place to talk with my friends!"
Pincus said he hopes that messages from games can eventually be targeted to a more select audience.
"We have to evolve," Pincus said "I think it's heading to a place that's more narrow-casting. I think you'll get to a place where Facebook will be better about showing feeds to people who have a registered interest in them."
For example, he said, there might eventually be a way to send game notifications only to people who play social games themselves.
"It's not just games. It's going to be true for music, for pictures, for status updates," Pincus said. "I think, over time, these networks are going to start to shape more to ... your [registered interests]."
Meanwhile, Zynga will be among the developers continuing to change how people look at video gaming. It's a change that Steinberg, the gaming guru, says will be for the better.
While heavyweights like Electronic Arts and the popular Civilization series are making inroads into social gaming, Steinberg said, the genre is also opening up opportunities for smaller developers.
"We're seeing, in many ways, a second renaissance for games," Steinberg said.
"There's been an epiphany among the developer community saying, 'Look at these millions of users that we've forgotten to speak to for years.' This can only be a good thing for the gaming industry in the end."
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Pregnant Olympian
Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:33 am EST
Canadian curler is five months pregnant
By Chris Chase
As with all curling teams, Team Canada features five members. Well, six, if you really want to get technical with it.
Alternate Kristie Moore, 30, is 5½ months pregnant, making her just the second athlete ever known to be with child during Olympic competition. Ninety years ago, Swedish figure skater Magda Julin won a gold medal at the Antwerp Games while in her first trimester.
Though she is showing (as evidenced in the picture above), Moore says that her pregnancy has not affected her ability to deliver rocks ... yet. "[In] the eighth month or so, that might be an issue," she said.
Moore found out about her pregnancy weeks before team officials invited her to join Team Canada as an alternate. When she divulged her secret, the team was more than supportive. Said team leader Cheryl Bernard, "she is young and fit. There's no reason we'll have any problems, and she'll be out there."
Barring unforeseen problems with the other four members of the team, it's unlikely Moore will see any Olympic action. During competition her role as an alternate is much like a backup quarterback in football: She'll be called on if needed. Moore has said that although she'd like to get out on the ice, doing so would mean having to play at the expense of someone else's injury.
Team Canada is the gold-medal favorite in the women's curling event, which begins Tuesday and runs through Friday of next week. Even if Moore doesn't play, she will receive any medal Canada wins.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Swim, Work, Run
I didn't make Saturday's KMA like I planned. Had to run to the car dealership to get Joan Jetta inspected. Silly dealership, didn't have that done! They gave me a free detail for my time, though. Yay!
However, I spent most of Friday night and Sunday day nesting- doing some serious cleaning to 
the house. I'm pretty sure that counted for some calorie burning, right?
the house. I'm pretty sure that counted for some calorie burning, right? Saturday I hung out with the GrandLady. Then I went shopping with JMoo for Husband's Valentine's present. I finally got him one of those fancy black watches he's been dying for. I couldn't find the one I got him, but I looked sorta like this -------> ------->:
Ironically enough, he got me a beautiful white sparkly watch to match. He is amazing, isn't he?
Sunday Hubs got home from work at Anahiem 3 (the motocross race, if you follow that), and we had a lovely evening on the couch- just us and pizza. Perfect.
Today is a LONG work day for me. I got to work at 8pm, and I'll be here until 10pm. Ouch. I had morning lessons until 11am, which is draining, but fun. Afterwards I put in a 1200 yard swim, at a very each pace. My stomach is definitely draging, and my flipturns aren't quite as streamlined. Over lunch I got in a GOOD run on the treadmill. Finally! I hate the damn thing, but a show I love on MTV was on, and I just had to accomplish 45 minutes. I did it, I got it done, and I was over it. It's hard to stay motivated to keep running when your body and mother nature are working against you. I have the Rock the Parkway 10k March 27th, so I'm trying to make sure I'm at least in shape enough to wobble 6 miles. I'm pretty sure it's going to involve a lot of walking (A LOT), but I'm trying to be the fit mom. Thus far, it's working out okay, but I'm no Labor Ready Liz (OMG have you seen her!? Talk about IronMom!).
Later this evening I am teaching another CPR/AED course. Then my puffy butt will drive home and I will go straight to my pillow.
Status:
Good mood. Feels decent. Mood swings possible. Hungry. Happy.
I Can Shout It!
Okay, so I've been holding something back for almost two months now.
One of my most beloved and dearest friends, Julie, is also impregnanted. YAY! Let me tell you how awesome it is to have a good friend along for the ride.
She unfortunately got the pukey part of morning sickness (BTW, what MAN came up with the term, morning sickness? Seriously, it's 24/7), and I got the headaches. I can't wait for her to get to the "better" part that I have reached (or so I am told). She's due Sept 6- which is my husband's birthday. I'm ever so oddly scheduled to go just about on her birthday. See, strange how things work out!
She and I conqured my first triathlon together (Where we met, what love love love), our first "long" bike ride (it was about 12 miles, and we had to stop at mile 5ish because I thought I was going to die), first half ironman, her first marathon, our first Ironman, and my first open marathon together. I'm so excited we get to share this part too. That means, we can run with baby bobble heads together in an Ironman branded running stroller (duh, of course they make those).
So excited. Congrats, Julie and Dan! Love you!
One of my most beloved and dearest friends, Julie, is also impregnanted. YAY! Let me tell you how awesome it is to have a good friend along for the ride.
She unfortunately got the pukey part of morning sickness (BTW, what MAN came up with the term, morning sickness? Seriously, it's 24/7), and I got the headaches. I can't wait for her to get to the "better" part that I have reached (or so I am told). She's due Sept 6- which is my husband's birthday. I'm ever so oddly scheduled to go just about on her birthday. See, strange how things work out!
She and I conqured my first triathlon together (Where we met, what love love love), our first "long" bike ride (it was about 12 miles, and we had to stop at mile 5ish because I thought I was going to die), first half ironman, her first marathon, our first Ironman, and my first open marathon together. I'm so excited we get to share this part too. That means, we can run with baby bobble heads together in an Ironman branded running stroller (duh, of course they make those).
So excited. Congrats, Julie and Dan! Love you!
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